A Statue's Grey Day

     Though it was not as she would have thought to be a good day, long ago. Or not so long ago. It was hard for her to discern things like the date, the year, worldly events and so on. Standing solidly frozen as a statue could do that to a pet.

     Nevertheless, Xandra had thought to herself that it would be a good day. This day specifically. She was trying a new line of thinking. A brand new, shiny perspective. A Xandra of yesterdays would have scoffed at this ‘pathetic’ coping mechanism, to which these days Xandra would… still somewhat agree with. It was hard to break out of those negative thinking patterns.

     But today, Xandra told herself she would have a good day. She told herself this over and over again, trying to believe wholeheartedly in these thoughts, and then trying to believe that her belief in the goodness of this day would make it true.

     The world around her seemed to agree that this day was indeed, good. Fyora’s personal garden was as beautiful and pristine as ever, coming back to life after the long winter. New pinkish buds seemed to multiply upon the trees with the passing days. Spring flowers surrounding the place seemed that they would bloom any moment now. The Carmarillers roused from their nightly slumbers, wings opening and closing as if stretching. Xandra could imagine the feeling of the white Faellie that landed on her shoulder, chittering softly. When it fluttered away, she couldn’t help but feel slightly disappointed. But she reminded herself to be grateful, nonetheless. She had never appreciated petpets before. She had only seen the Spyders of the Haunted Woods as a pest, a nuisance to get rid of. Even before that, during her studies in Faerieland, she had never the time to pay much attention to the wildlife it had to offer.

     I think I might have liked having a Petpet now.

     Having something that looked upon her as if she was something worthy of love, as long as she fed it, that is. That was something Xandra wouldn’t mind at all. A small part of her helpfully reminded that she did not deserve it. That she did not deserve anything after what she had done. She told that part that she was having a good day and to pipe down.

     “Oh Xandra~”

     Oh. Oh no.

     The petpets scurried away, sensing an otherworldly presence. Even the beaming sun seemed to falter for a moment as a surely chilling wind swept the area, evident by a few rustling dead leaves. Xandra, unfortunate for her, recognized this voice.

     “BOO!”

     A deep rumbling, very stereotypical, laugh followed.

     “I got you didn’t I. You can’t deny it, you look PETRIFIED!”

     As the same laugh filled her ears, Xandra wish she could have sighed. He did that same joke every time.

     Finally, a greyish blue form appeared before her, ectoplasm taking shape of a Chia. With black hair slicked back and donning the same cape and ruffled top, with a grandeur only the most over the top villain could muster, Hubrid Nox looked unchanged since the last time he had visited.

     Hubrid Nox then proceeded with the rest of his routine. First, he stood on her head and danced (she presumed) by the odd noises he would produce. Next, he would cackle and begin to gloat.

     “I must say, I’m really having the time of my life- or rather DEATH with being a ghost! Honestly, I couldn’t believe that I hadn’t thought about it sooner. Ha, no no, I definitely did think about it. I’m just so glad I was able to make this jump! The mortal plane was really holding me back, you know? It was time to move on to something better.”

     Hubrid Nox and floated right in Xandra’s face. “I suppose I have you to thank for that.” He paused a dramatic effect, twirling his ghostly moustache. “But I won’t. I gave you the privilege of killing me!”

      If Xandra could wince, she would have. In the moment… it felt like a necessary sacrifice. Even a minor one at that, disposing of a character that, on all accounts, probably had it coming after years of villainy. The moral implications were nothing but a stepping stone into her new world, and by whatever means, she would make it possible.

     Hubrid Nox’s smile grew impossible wide as he laughed again, the “MWAHAHA” etched onto Xweetok’s very soul.

     Hubrid Nox had been visiting her statue for aeons it seemed like. His first time, he had lambasted Xandra with his daring exploits in discovering this place’s existence to finding her statue. Apparently, he harassed the entirety of the Faerieland Palace Guard into a highspeed chase up and down the hilly terrain of Faerieland. He had even shoplifted an earth faerie cookie sandwich from the poor faerie baking them.

     Xandra had to be completely fair to the apparition in front of her, he did manage to scare her from her cloud watching when he first appeared. For a solid minute, she did think that she may have finally lost the last bit of sanity. The ghost of one of her past sins appeared to haunt her, literally – it was a little bit too much like a book she once read to be true. And yet, without fail, Hubrid Nox managed to find her little piece of garden every so often. Sometimes he came with a marker to do some… colourful revenge work, with her as the canvas. And, of course, the gloating.

     “Did you know they made the day you killed me, get this: Hubrid Nox Memorial Day! I have a day dedicated to me, myself, and I! I always knew it was an inevitability with my inherent charisma, but I thought it would have happened when I had taken over the world! But Neopia, bless its heart, collectively came together to mourn the tragedy of what was done to me. Those FOOLS! They do not know that death is merely another opportunity for my greatest plan yet to arise!!”

     Nox proceeded to talk about his next plan for Neopian revolution, subjugating all beings under his rule.

     I hope I didn’t sound like this back then…

     It was a journey, getting to this point that Xandra could regret her actions. That part of herself that spoke of her misdeeds, it wasn’t always there, so loud. Growing back a conscience did not happen overnight. It came after probable years of denial. Of grandiose delusions about what should have been. Of justifications for unjustifiably awful actions. Those realizations had been a long time coming, to say the least.

     Hubrid Nox chattered on amicably. He sure did talk a lot about Magax his… arch-nemesis? Best friend? It was hard to tell. Xandra didn’t like to admit it, but sometimes she did get lonely. The company of the ghost, despite its best attempts to be irritating, did not spark her ire as it once did.

      “So that’s what I’ve been up to as of late,” Nox had finished his monologue with a flourish, taking a small bow. He peered at the Xweetok’s forever enraged face, almost looking for a sign that she was listening. He huffed a sigh and sat down in the grass.

     “You know, even as much as I like teaching you how a proper villain conducts themselves, I do wonder if you can really hear me.” He put his paws over his face, rubbing ghostly eyes. “It’s just, sometimes I wonder. Is this all that’s really left for me? It’s just… when you have eternity, the days start to blur together sometimes, you know?”

     Xandra looked down at the ghost, coming to the stark realization that she and Hubrid Nox could feel the same emotions. That deep greyness about the world and its place in it. That feeling that this was all that was left for the both of them.

     Hubrid straightened out, dusting off his cloak. “Anyways, I must be off. Do take care of yourself. Ohh, don’t give me that face.” Her stony visage glared on silently. “You know I’ll come back to visit! Don’t go anywhere!” And with a final villainous giggle, Nox dissipated.

     Xandra inwardly sighed. There would, most likely, always be mixed feelings about how she felt about the warlock. She felt An apology was in order, she supposed, but then again, she wasn’t sure that he would like that.

      It was supposed to be a good day today… a part of her lamented.

     No, she countered. It doesn’t have to be a good or bad day. The world isn’t so black and white. It… can be a grey day.

     So, Xandra sat in silence, taking in the spring day once more.