Geographical Guide to the Best Recipes in Every Land

     This week our two adventurers will be traversing Neopia’s highest peak, Terror Mountain.

     Terror Mountain is located at the North Pole of Neopia. It is comprised of Happy Valley, the Ice Caves, and rugged top known as The Peak. It is advisable to wear your warmest clothes when visiting here and bring shoes that can handle the snow and ice. There are year-round snowstorms and freezing weather. Hats, gloves, and scarves are absolute musts here. Once you’re all bundled up, you can enjoy all that Terror Mountain has to offer.

     Lilian cautiously guides the mechanical hot air balloon up from the Tyrannian Jungle up the side of the mountain until she sees the snow-covered cabins of Happy Valley. She slowly lands the balloon next to the Ice Cream Machine.

     Lilian and Werther change into their winter clothing and snow boots before exiting their mechanical hot air balloon.

     Werther: Yet again we go from one extreme to another.

     Lilian: Quit your whining, Werther, our journey is almost over. I know you love it here. Here, this scarf should help keep your face from freezing over.

     Werther: I know, I was only joking. Thanks, Lilian!

     Lilian: And I was just messing with you. Let’s head to our next stop, which according to my notes here, is the Slushie Shop.

     Happy Valley: Orange Ona Orange Slushie Drink

      As I mentioned in my very first Neopian Times article, neggs are the secret ingredient to making the best ice cream, and even Mr Chipper, the expert ice cream craftsman approves. I have a feeling his creations will be needed today.

     Slushie Shopkeeper: Frozen drinks to tempt and tantalize any Neopet! They’ll fill you right up, too, since we can’t exactly cook in this freezing land. How can I help you today?

     Lilian and Werther explain their quest for a recipe, and ask the shopkeeper if they know how to make an epic slushie that’s never before been tasted outside of Terror Mountain – the Orange Ona Orange Slushie Drink.

     Slushie Shopkeeper: My, you’ve come with quite the request today. It’s a good thing no one knows my name, or the Rare Item Code Masters themselves might come after me. But it’s okay; I made this for them, after all. I have only seen them hand out a dozen at most, and I’d really like for more people to try it. In exchange for this information, though, I’ll ask for a favour, and it has a steep price. I haven’t experienced warm spring air in ages. Do you think you could help?

     Werther: We travelled here today by hot air balloon. We’re on a tight schedule at the moment, but if you meet us at the base of the mountain in three weeks time, I will fly you to wherever you wish. You have my word.

     Slushie Shopkeeper: Then it’s a plan. A vacation sounds wonderful about now. Okay, here comes the recipe for this delightful treat. It comes with two straws, so it’s perfect for sharing with a friend.

      Please find: 4 cups of Ice (2 glasses worth), 2 cups of Ice Water, 2/3 cups of Sugar, 1 tablespoon of Florange Jam, some Flatfruit Tea, and 3 scoops of Twinkling Ice Cream

      This slushie will be very reminiscent of a combination of the Orange Slushie and Flatfruit Slushie with a hint of magic – a gloriously refreshing and tempting combination, indeed. First of all, go ahead and dispense out your water from the dispenser into a blender, and empty out ice cubes into it as well, followed by sugar. Next comes the delicious fruit flavour - flatfruit and florange. Pour just a little tea in, no more than a ¼ cup, and add in a heaping spoonful of the jam. Put the lid on the mixer, and blend it together until smooth. If you’re wondering what makes this twinkling ice cream so magical, the secret ingredient is Taelia’s neggs. Go ahead and add the ice cream in, blend until smooth, and pour into your glass. Wave your Fyora Star Wand over the glass, watch the stars appear, and sip in! Serve with Piece of my Heart Gingerbread Cookies for a very sweet evening in the snow with your friends.

     Lilian and Werther slowly sip their slushie before leaving Happy Valley for the Ice Caves.

     Lilian: WOW, that was incredible. I’m amazed at how generous everyone has been in sharing their favourite recipes!

     Werther: I couldn’t agree more. I can’t wait to help the shopkeeper go on vacation. They certainly deserve it. Ah, here we are. The Ice Caves, home of the Neggery, the Snowager, and hopefully one chipper Polarchuck is in today too.

     Ice Caves: Snowmuncher Energy Drink

     Lilian and Werther head off to meet Dieter, the snow-eating Polarchuck famous for his ice-eating abilities in the game Snowmuncher.

     Lilian: I can’t wait to see Dieter again. He promised that the next time we met he’d share the recipe for his famous Snowmuncher Energy Drink.

     Werther: That smoothie was wonderfully filling, but I will need an energy drink to help me get through the rest of Terror Mountain. I hope he’ll give us a case of them for the rest of our journey.

     Lilian: I’ll ask.

     Lilian and Werther meet Dieter as he finishes another game Snowmuncher.

     Dieter: Hi Lilian and Werther, it’s marvellous to see you both again. I see you brought your journals, Lilian. You’re taking after your father, huh? I assume you’re here to get the recipe for my energy drink, then.

     Lilian: Hi Dieter, you did promise you’d give to me the last time we met. It’s great to see you again, too!

     Dieter: Yes, I did, mainly so that you’d have to visit the Ice Caves again. It’s not often I get visitors up here outside of the Advent season. It’s nice to see you again, too, Werther. You both came at a great time. I’m about to make another batch of my Snowmuncher Energy Drink, as I just drank the last bottle.

     Werther: Fantastic seeing you again, friend. Glad things are still running smoothly here! Though I suppose the ice does help with that. So, what does this recipe entail?

      Dieter: You might be surprised; this drink is more famous than you think. It’s based off a beverage most Neopians know as “Bloat-Be-Gone.” Here’s what you’ll need to create my favourite treat:

     1 Banana, 2 tablespoons of Organic Almond Butter, 2 leaves of Organic Kale, ½ cup of Organic Plain Yogurt, 1 tablespoon of Pluburb Magical Seeds, 1 cup of Kau Kau Farm Soy Milk, and a single scoop of Exploding Powder if you’re feeling really tired and depleted.

      The scoop of Exploding Powder is what helps me plow through all the ice. And, it gives this drink a purple colour. The standard “Bloat-Be-Gone” is more of a muted yellowish-green colour. I also add the pluburb seeds, which restore health, hunger, and feeling of rest, four times faster than normal seeds would.

      To make this energy boost, add all of these ingredients to your blender in the quantity listed, and you’re all set to bound from rooftop to rooftop, ride your bike all around town, or feed an army of meepits. Easy peasy lemon squeezy!

      Lilian records all the ingredients and directions Dieter listed off into her notebook.

     Dieter: I made a little extra for you. Take this 6 pack to help you get through the rest of your journey. I hope you don’t have too many more lands to visit.

     Werther grabs a bottle from the pack and chugs it down.

     Werther: Ah, that was the pep in my step I needed. Thanks! We have about three lands left. But first, we need to reach the peak of this mountain.

     Lilian drinks a bottle of Snowmuncher Energy Drink, too.

     Lilian: Thank you Dieter! I’m glad I could include a friend’s recipe into my series. I think it’ll be a big hit.

     Dieter: I wish I could stay and chat longer, but I need to get back to snow-munching. Good luck on the rest of your journey, and safe climbing.

     Lilian and Werther say goodbye to Dieter and follow the network of ice caves up to the top of the mountain. As they get closer to the top, the path becomes steeper and steeper until it feels like they are going straight up. Just as they are about to take a break, they reach the end of the Ice Caves and walk out onto the Top Peak of Terror Mountain. If it weren’t for their energy drinks, there’s no way they would have made it up. Their hot air balloon mechanics don’t work at these frigid temperatures, and it’s too short a distance to go in spaceship mode.

     Werther: I’m glad I had Dieter’s Snowmuncher Energy Drink before we left for the peak. I wouldn’t have made it otherwise.

     Lilian: Me too, it definitely gave me the energy boost I needed for the hike up to the top of the mountain.

      Top of Mountain: Cake Batter Ice Lolly

     Lilian: What do we have here?

     Werther: it’s the Super Happy Icy Fun Snow Shop. The Lenny who owns the shop, Inah, sells a variety of iced lollies. I’d like to include one of the flavors into our series.

     They look around the Super Happy Icy Fun Snow Shop and taste the different flavours the Lenny sells. After trying them all, Lilian and Werther discuss which flavor they liked best. They debate for a minute, but come to a unanimous decision.

     Lilian: Cake Batter Ice Lolly, that’s the one! Inah, can you teach us how to make this? We’d love to include it in our Neopian Times series, and wish more people knew you how excellent of a dessert maker you are.

     Inah: Thank you Lilian, I’m flattered. Surprisingly it’s a lot like making a cake, just without the baking part. It doesn’t have any eggs, so it’s safe to consume raw. To make this, you’ll need:

     Icy Baked Beans, Chia Flour, Stick of Butter, Bag of Sugar, Powdered Sugar, Vanilla Milkshake, Super Frosty Ice Shake, Faerieland Salt and Pepper Shakers, Sprinkle Shower

     This recipe starts with something that sounds crazy, so brace yourselves. See if you can melt your Icy Baked Beans, and capture the liquid. You’ll need 3 tablespoons worth. If they’re the right type of bean, the water will help thicken your batter and makes for a great egg substitute. Set that aside somewhere warm, perhaps above the oven there. Then bake your flour for 4-5 minutes at 350° to make sure it’s safe to eat raw. While that’s going on, add a half cup from your Bag of sugar and a ¼ cup of Powdered Sugar to a mixing bowl, and mix them with a half cup of softened butter until the mixture is very light. Then pour in your melted bean juice and mix it where it looks like it’s just been combined completely. Do not over-mix – it’s a complicated art, but this way no one gets sick. Now add 1.5 cups of flour and a ½ teaspoon of your Faerieland Salt, and mix again until its creamy. I do recommend that you do this by your warm oven if you’re baking in Terror Mountain, otherwise your batter will be frozen over by now. Now, add in one cup of Vanilla Milkshake. This will add the vanilla flavor and help with the consistency. Next is the Super Frosty Ice Shake, which is essentially frosting. Our secret ingredient here, it will make this lolly really taste like cake, and be a proper ice lolly. Who wants cake without icing? For now, add in a ¼ cup, but save another half cup for latter. Next, gently stir in your Spring Shower with a spoon. Swirl in the rest of your Super Frosty Icy Shake, transfer your mixture into our ice lolly mold, or shape into a rectangle if you don’t have one. Add a flat wooden stick about ½ way into the lolly, and place in your freezer for about 30 minutes. However, if you’re making this on Terror Mountain, you’ll hardly need a freezer; just step outside for a few minutes. Does this recipe make sense? Did you get all of that?

     Lilian: That was a lot, but I bet it’s simpler than it seems. I just learned so many new things about baking and Terror Mountain Food! Thank you!

     Werther: Yes, indeed. Thank you once again, Inah. This was an absolute treat. I’ll be back for another in a couple weeks. Does Chipper ever sell these at his Ice Cream Cart?

     Inah: That he does. Now if you don’t mind, it seems night is falling already and I need to close up my shop. If you want a real light show, I’d recommend hopping outside for a while.

     Lilian and Werther step outside. They are quickly amazed by the twinkling holiday light displays and Northern Lights above.

     Lilian: This is so spectacular. I’m speechless. I must include something from here in my recipe series. This is a whole area in its own right.

     Winter Starlight Celebration: Flying Holiday Neggnog

     Armin, a longtime friend of Hannah going back to the Ice Cave Plot days, comes over to talk with Lilian and Werther.

     Armin: The lights today are amazing, aren’t they? Hey, I heard you discussing food earlier. Ever wanted to know how the faeries make flying food? I have news for you. The faerie chefs have begun to test new recipes for next Easter and tried to file this one away, or so they thought. … Lucky for you, I managed to snatch it with a yellow sticky hand, narrowly avoiding the glare of a couple fire faeries when I last visited Faerieland. I honestly didn’t know what all the fuss was about, just that there was some ruckus over this piece of paper. In case it was another battle siege plan, I grabbed it. While I respect Fyora, I think it’s time we shed a light on this secret. I tried to pass this on to Taelia earlier, but she didn’t want to be bothered. Anyway, for this recipe, you’ll need to gather the following:

      Two Jewelled Neggs (these are 3x the size of the eggs found at the farms in Meridell), Bag of Sugar, Kau Kau Farm Organic Bottled Milk, Vanilla Negg Cream, Magic Holiday Spices, and Air Faerie Munparaberries

      To begin, separate the neggs, placing the yolks on one bowl, and the whites in another. These are some of the best neggs, both in design and flavour, and additionally, are some of the easiest to separate. It’s even said that you can display the shells after cleaning them, or serve this delicacy in them to your favourite faerie. Having separated the neggs, whisk the yolks with 1 cup of sugar from the bag until its creamy and lightened to a light lemon colour. Then, whisk in two cups of the milk and one cup of the cream until it’s all combined. Here’s where to pay attention: squeeze the juice of the muparaberries in here and whisk it well. This will help keep your nog from spoiling quickly, and will make it begin to float, as it’s that airy! Keep this whisked bowl in a cooler until ready to serve. Right before doing so, whisk the negg whites until they peak, and then fold them into the concoction. To top it off and send it to the roof with its wings (if you’re not careful), gently stir in some magic holiday spice, and pour into a glass. Yes, the secret is air faerie muparaberries + magic holiday spices, but I’d better not catch you trying to peddle that recipe to the Jhuidah down in Mystery Island. She might read this, but that cooking pot does strange things to food, and it won’t be the same. Enjoy this wonderfully sweet, winged treat!

     Lilian and Werther take in the view of Neopia from high atop Terror Mountain. They feel like they’re at the top of the world, and they really are. They make a quick stop at the Igloo Garage Sale to see if there is anything they’d like to buy, but accidentally fall asleep on a spare mattress for sale. In the morning, they make their way back down to Happy Valley. Lilian and Werther each drink another bottle of Snowmuncher Energy Drink to help them with the descent.

     Werther: That was quite a trek, I’m glad we had Dieter’s Snowmuncher Energy Drink to keep us going.

     Lilian: It’s magic in a bottle. I better understand how Dieter can play so many Snowmuncher games right after the other.

     They finally reach their mechanical hot air balloon and jump in. Lilian presses a button and the mechanical hot air balloon converts itself into a spaceship. Next week our two adventures will be going to places outside this world!

To be continued…