Love And Times At Sea

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     My bad luck woes started on a watery sky day. I awoke at 9:30 am NST, groggy and tired. My white Weewoo tugged at my Red Acara ear, pulling a few strands of thick curly brown hair with her beak. Grumbling, I shooed her away, rubbing my eyes. Penelope cooed and nuzzled me. I gave her a pat and set her back in her perch. Rolling out of bed, I grabbed my favourite black shirt and blue jeans.

     I was about to break out my pen and paper when I felt someone lay on my head. Penelope cooed and tugged my hair again.

     "Get off!! Jeez, you're needy today. Don't you see I'm busy?"

     Pulling her off again, I stomped over to her post and put her back on her perch.

     "Don't keep bothering me... ok? I have a huge deadline I need to make for my friend's birthday surprise. I'll play later, ok?"

     I ran my hands through my hair and headed back to my desk. I could still hear her coos. I huffed and tried to block her out.

     She stopped after a few minutes.

     ////

     The mail truck was down the road by the time I was heading out. Muttering a curse under my breath, I bit my lip hard. As I watched it disappear around the corner, my hands began to flap. Oh, why did I have to dawdle and not get up earlier? Now I would have to get a ride from Eyrie Cabs, and- and there's going to be a ton of people, and- and they'll all stare at me! Oh, Fyora, I was nervous.

     Trying to steady my pounding heart, I went back home to write a Neomail for my cab. While I waited, I fluttered about, checking to make sure I had fare, wallet, and purse, plus my letter. When I stopped to stare at the mirror, I heard the voice again.

     "Ugly worthless thing... you will never be good enough."

     Averting my eyes, I shook my head. No time for all that.

     My white Weewoo let out a curious chirp, but I didn't stop to pet her. Rushing out the door, I grabbed my stuff and headed to the post office.

     My anxious foot tapping was the only comforting sound as we descended to the heart and hustle and bustle of Neopia Central. When the eyrie gave me a look in the rearview mirror, I quickly put a paw to stop my foot. He shrugged and turned around. I let out a shaky breath, trying to steady my hands that so badly wanted to flap.

      ////

     After my nerve-wracking trip to the post office and my return to home in midafternoon, I pulled the curtains shut, put enough food and water in Penelope's bowl, and called it good for the day. When I burrowed into my blankets, I finally let out a heavy, heaving sob. My Petpet tried to comfort me, but I didn't want to hear it. My chest ached with all the things I wanted to say but couldn't. Why couldn't I be normal? As I drifted off to sleep, I heard the voice again.

     "Ugly, not good enough, fragile, dumb."

     When I regained a sense of consciousness, I felt my heart rate pick up. The waves lapped at my bed... wait, waves! I quickly rubbed my eyes. When the waves splashed me in the face, I was fully alert. My bed was caught in a storm out at a blue dark sea! But I had little time to figure out what, why, or how. The currents picked up pace, and the wind pushed my bed into the sea's murky depths. Over the howling and sea spray I heard it again... but two different voices this time. It was muffled and garbled, but I could slowly pick it up.

     "You are so selfish and weird! Who would ever want to be around you?"

     "Go away!" I shouted as the waves rocked me and my bed violently side to side. The voice laughed, deep and cruelly. Images of how I had treated Penelope and the nervous, quirky habits I had kept flashing on repeat in this weird and cruel storm. I almost didn't hear the other side.

     "Worthy, loving, kind, not a freak."

     I fell to my knees, screaming, as both voices tried to be heard. With that, the sea swallowed me whole.

     Everything faded to black.

     ////

     I awoke with a sharp sit up and with an intake of breath. It was dark in my room, with what felt like nighttime. Shaking and trembling, not seeing an ocean anymore, I grabbed my arms and began rocking back and forth. What in Fyora's name was that?

     Glancing around, I noticed that Penelope's perch was empty. I felt a cold breeze from an open window. With a strength I didn't know I possessed, I grabbed a flashlight and hurried outside. The cool night air greeted me as I shined the light around. Calling out her name and searching the whole neighbourhood for her, I came up with nothing.

     With a broken sob, I headed back home.

     ////

     That is how I ended up at my desk, clutching my aching head in my hands. Why hadn't I been nicer to my Petpet? Why did I constantly crave normalcy when I knew I'd never be normal? That voice was right... I was just a useless freak.

     It felt like my heart was going to split in half, and I could barely breathe out my stuffed-up nose. I must have been delirious from lack of proper sleep, because I swear I could hear the door open and footsteps and chirping coming nearer. I nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

     Managing to catch my breath, I saw who it was. Amy smiled gently, Penelope perched on her shoulder. I quickly and unsteadily got to my feet, looking at the Green Shoyru with blonde hair, still in her Mystery Island tour guide uniform.

     "But wh- why? How?"

     Amy gestured to my weewoo. "A little bird told me you needed some help... Any time I see her, I know that you're in trouble or may need my assistance. Jenna, why didn't you contact me sooner?"

     I tried to talk, but a hiccupy cry interrupted me. When I felt my friend's warm embrace and Penelope settling on my head, I felt at peace for the first time in a while.

      "Wonderful and kind," a sweet voice in the wind whispered.

      ////

     The salty sea spray of Mystery Island greeted our faces as Penelope and I gazed over the boat. We had been invited by Amy and her mom to join them on a month-long cruise to different parts of Neopia. This was a birthday present to my friend. It was recommended by my therapist and family that I should go out and see more of the world. Flapping my paws freely, I laughed and rejoiced in my Petpet's song.

     Things would never be perfect, but I had to try to be myself. That was all anyone could ask for. While the others gazed at the island we were supposed to see, I held Penelope in my arms and scratched under her chin. Cooing contently, I closed my eyes to the sound of oceans ebbing and flowing, flowing and ebbing. I will be ok.

     The End.