Kelp: Is it Worth the Price?

     Unfortunately, our stomachs weren’t big enough to try all the foods available, but we were able to sample a few dishes from each section of the menu. First up, the appetizers -

      Tropical Fruit Bowl:

     As the first dish of the night, we had high hopes for the Tropical Fruit Bowl. It came in a large yellow conch shell, filled with fruits of all kinds. I was amazed by the assortment of colours available from favourites such as Blurfs, Carnapeppers, and Island Fruit.... but no bananas. Because of this big omission we can’t rate it highly.

      Mixed Green Salad:

     Are you looking for a healthy option at Kelp? Luckily for you they have salad on the menu. Unfortunately we were stymied yet again by the fact that there weren’t any bananas! Truly a missed opportunity to reward those who are watching their diet (or simply vegetarian) with a treat Neopians know well and love. The lettuce, kelp and nuts are the bulk of this salad but those who are truly health conscious will sneak in some bananas or add it to the side for a great source of vitamins. It would also add some taste to this meal that others may consider somewhat bland.

     By this point, we were a little thirsty. What meal is complete without something to drink? This is what we ordered off the cocktail menu -

      Foozette Juice:

      At first glance this drink looks like it has some lemons in it. But don’t be fooled! A former employee recently gave us an insider tip about a secret ingredient. This ingredient may have been one of the reasons why Kelp's competitors have been unable to match up with the household name for several years. Okay readers, we’ll stop being suspenseful...the moment you've all been waiting for...the secret ingredient is...a hint of banana extract. This adds a little something something to flavour that is so unique. The strong lemon scent manages to mask off most of the taste but that slight banana essence is what makes this drink one of a kind!

      Phear Tonic Juice:

     Another exciting cocktail at Kelp to examine. When the waiter told us it was decorated with a variety of tropical fruits, we ordered it right away. Unfortunately, we were disappointed yet again. While there may be slight hints of banana, it was too diluted and the strong flavouring from the other fruits took over the drink. As I’ve said before, “a great chef knows there is always room for improvement” and the addition of a small, green unripe banana on the rim is just what this drink needs. I truly believe with that one small change Phear Tonic Juice would compete with Neo Cola in the drink shares market!

     At this point, we were asked to select the main courses. There were some hits, and a lot of misses, but the night was still young and we weren’t ready to give up yet. Here are the dishes we got -

      Luxurious Vegetarian Star Pie:

     I’ll admit, we were very excited when I saw this pie, with green crust and yellow filling. We were very disappointed after taking a bite and finding out the inside was a tangy lemon. The green pie crust was exceptional, with just the right amount of crunch. The star shape was definitely a unique element that set this pie apart from the others. However, it could be improved if it was slightly more moon shaped, more slender, more like a certain other fruit...

      Stramberry Sausages

     Now, we will start off our review of this dish by saying we were under no illusions that it would possibly contain anything remotely banana flavoured. That didn’t stop us from noticing that these sausages were the same colour as an overripe banana left out a big too long in the sun, and the garnish seemed to come from a tropical fruit tree. The taste even had some of the same characteristics – tough exterior and delightfully mushy interior. Unfortunately, this just made our longing for our favourite fruit stronger.

     We had made it to the final course. What better way to finish off a night than with sweets? As you may have guessed, a certain yellow fruit tends to make appearances at the end of the night… Were we going to be disappointed yet again? Read on to find out our review of the dessert selection -

      Honeyed Horn of Plenty:

     This dessert is one of the more affordable options. One of the reasons why it’s so affordable - it doesn't contain any bananas! No wonder Kelp needs to continuously slash the price of this product. They refuse to acknowledge what Neopians are truly seeking, banana flavoured dessert. It already contains ice cream and sorbet so imagine what a ripe, soft banana would do. It truly would become a more popular menu item than the famed banana split.

      Triple Chocolate Shell:

     Who doesn't love chocolate? It easily has been one of if not the most popular flavour of all of Neopian history. However, times are changing. The people want bananas now. We – the writers for the Neopian Times - have to note that while this delicacy of the past has always been a treat, there isn't even a hint of bananas! What is does have is milk, white and dark chocolate all blended together. Where was that mushy sweet flavour? Nowhere to be found.

     Given its reputation, we had high hopes that Kelp would deliver a fantastic meal. Unfortunately, it didn’t live up to its name. We left will a full stomach but still felt unsatisfied. Many items on the menu felt like they were missing a single ingredient that would have made dishes perfect. Can you guess what it was?

     Recommendation: Needs more bananas.