Ashes of the Alabriss

     But change couldn’t come fast enough for Eclipse. Her regular driver was steadily recovering from his injuries and she could scarcely bear the impending horror that would be trusting her to someone else. Brynn may not have liked the idea of racing her, but at least she could protect her if she was the one at the reins.

     She had insisted on walking to work because Hanso had seemed exceptionally tired despite sleeping in (“No, Hanso. I’m not letting you drive when you’re practically falling asleep on your breakfast.”). If he was getting sick, he had infuriatingly terrible timing because today was the day she’d planned on finally confronting her parents instead of going straight home.

     She tried to find solace in the fact that she’d tended to all the most imperative Alabriss chores before he’d risen, so he could go back to bed and focus on resting- which was what he realistically needed more than her fretting. He also had Taffy, to whom she’d bestowed the very important task of looking after him in her stead.

      As she was preparing to leave, she caught a snippet of a conversation in passing. A Blue Lutari and a Yellow Blumaroo were animatedly discussing changes implemented for the upcoming races.

     “I think they’re using some new recycled product for dust control- I heard it’s common in Neopia Central.”

     “I really don’t know what the committee is thinking anymore. They’re clearly losing public favour but we’re the ones who get all the criticism for their dumb decisions. I mean, have you been by the Colosseum today?”

     The Colosseum was about a kilometre away from the stable, and technically on the way to her childhood home in the Bazaar District. It was a slight detour, but curiosity was the perfect excuse for procrastination.

     It was an imposing structure. Despite not being monumentally tall, it seemed to tower above the Arena District with its commanding presence alone. This was the proving ground of great warriors and legends, but not necessarily heroes as she’d more recently come to realise.

     Several pets were gathered around the main entrance, still too far for Brynn to extrapolate the general tone of their conversations. She picked up her pace almost unconsciously, brisk and impatient, the varying moods of the group members coming into focus in tandem with the subject of their interest.

     The side of one of the great Lupe statues marking the Colosseum’s entrance was painted with the dynamic image of an Alabriss pulling a chariot. Even with its simple lines and minimal shading it conveyed a glorious, captivating fantasy of power and majesty.

     The Lupe on the other side was painted with the same Alabriss alone; no tack, no chariot, no glory. Just a Petpet locked in a perpetual expression of stress and pain.

     Suddenly she understood why Hanso had been so tired. She felt like laughing, but instead wrapped her braid around her hand and held it tightly. She didn’t know why- she was burning with energy that had nowhere to go. That was her friend! That was her Hanso! She beamed, proud and exhilarated, sprinting all the way to the Bazaar District.

     *-*-*

     By the time she reached her parents’ house, her elation had subsided, leaving her sweaty and panting with the exhaustive weight of truths and emotions that were too heavy and unwieldy for her to hold in front of her.

     She’d expected at least one of her parents to tear down the unsightly shack that had previously been Storm and Taffy’s home. She wasn’t sure if she was relieved or disappointed they hadn’t. What once was a dreamlike escape where she doted on her beloved friend now stood decrepit and empty; a crumbling grotesque prison she’d bound them both to for far too long.

     Trying to keep from shaking was impossible with the tangible manifestation of her past looming before her. Each step towards the front door was heavier, her feet and heart both turning to lead, followed by her arms as she struggled to lift her hand and force it to knock.

     She heard movement almost immediately, then footsteps, and then her mother was standing before her, staring at Brynn like she was a ghost- which wasn’t terribly far off from how she currently felt. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, wishing she could remember anything she’d prepared to say the million times she’d run this scenario in her head.

     Then she was being hugged. She could feel her mother’s body hitch and tremble with tears as she returned the embrace. “I understand now,” she said softly. “What you meant about saying goodbye.”

     “Where have you been, Brynneth?” the White Wocky asked, pulling away and holding her by the shoulders to take her in through tear-clouded eyes. “What did you do to your hair?”

     “I’ve been working at Violet Stables,” she said carefully. “And I, um, I changed it.”

     “And where have you been staying?” her mother’s voice was becoming louder, sharper. “You couldn’t have at least sent a letter? We were worried sick!”

     The honest answer was that it had been easier to assume they didn’t care. It seemed the more she learned about Alabriss’ behaviour, the more she became aware of the skewed lens she also used to interpret the character and motivations of other Neopets. “You’re right, I should have,” she sighed, just as her mother’s raised voice drew her father into the room.

     Their eyes locked, but it took a second for recognition to dawn on his face. "You're back," he said bluntly.

     “I’m not staying; I just wanted to see you. Someone’s waiting for me.” The sunlit image of Hanso and Taffy greeting her as she returned to the farm bloomed in her mind like an oasis amidst the sterile interior of her childhood home.

     Her mother had turned to face her father, one hand still resting on Brynn’s shoulder.

     “So you were alive and well this whole time,” he said, sounding like the calm before a storm.

     “Yes.” She felt like she was shrinking until suddenly she was a little girl again, trying her best to be good only to be struck with the horrifying realisation she’d done it all wrong. “I’m sorry, I wish I’d come sooner. I- are you both all right?”

      “Your poor mother has been a wreck,” he said stiffly. “You’ve been gone for over a month, we were beginning to think we’d never see you again. All because of your selfish tantrum.”

     Annoyance prickled through Brynn, but it was tempered with guilt. “I should have found a way to contact you, I didn’t realise…” she trailed off. “But you hurt me too.”

     “What?” her father demanded. She felt both sets of her parents’ eyes boring into her. “After all this time, you have the audacity to come back here just to continue your disrespectful little tirade?”

     “Dear?” said her mother placatingly. “Perhaps we could do this another time?”

     “It’s all right,” Brynn told her before her father could respond, though she wasn’t entirely confident that it was. “You’re right, I was inconsiderate. But respect means different things to different people.” She looked back to her father. “I think it means something different to me now. “

     “What?” he repeated, his expression flickering between angry and baffled. “What sort of new-age nonsense were you filling your head with while you were away?”

     There was so much she could say, but it was too much to explain in a way he’d understand or instantly accept. How he’d taught her through expressions of everything she wasn’t supposed to be; managing his own anger and frustration by taking it out on her, then teaching her what he’d been taught as a means of Alabriss’ training. “I still care about you and I understand why you did the things the way you did them, but I don’t want to carry your torch anymore,” she ended up saying honestly.

     A heavy silence fell over the room, the atmosphere crackling with electricity. She’d expected thunderous rage that shook the foundation and rattled the windows, but what she got was a cold melancholic drizzle as her father turned and left the room like he could no longer stand to look at her.

     Her mother sighed. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you, that was cruel. He wouldn’t get like this if you’d just listen.”

     Brynn was too tired to process the anger and disappointment her mother had shot through her with that statement. Was she not being calm and civil like she was supposed to? It hurt, but she hadn’t been counting on immediate acceptance and understanding. Perhaps it had been closure she was hoping to find, but all she wanted now was to go home.

     “I wish nobody had to get hurt,” Brynn said, deflating. “I think it’s best if I go now. Do you mind if I get some things from my room?”

     Her mother nodded slowly. “Do write this time.”

     “Yeah, all right.”

     Maybe that was for the best; to be able to communicate without the pressure and volatility of in-person conversations.

     Her room was exactly as she’d left it; a snapshot of her life from before Storm had been taken. It was eerie how a space so personal could feel so surreal.

     On her vanity lay a pile of books. Her worn copy of Optimal Care for Chariot Alabrisses sat in a place of honour, intentionally displayed upright unlike the others which were haphazardly stacked in different directions. She scoffed, using her index finger to knock it down onto its face. “I won’t be needing you anymore.” Near the bottom of the other books lay an equally well-loved copy of Legend of the Alabriss. It had been her favourite story since her childhood; about a white Alabriss who was rumoured to only come out under the full moon. The villain was a captain who coveted the legendary Alabriss’ power and beauty, seeking to capture and break him. It was unsettling now, how she could have despised a character so much without questioning how similarly his actions reflected her own. Perhaps she had when she’d been very young, but she’d been assured time and time again that it was right and necessary. And so, the book became just a story, and the stories her parents and teachers told her became intrinsic to her view of the world.

     She took Legend of the Alabriss and left the rest of the books.

     On the foot of her bed lay a pile of clothes she’d allowed to accumulate there instead of hanging them in the wardrobe. She began to pick through them before realizing that she didn’t want to wear anything she associated with this period of her life.

     In the end she only took the book, a framed picture of Storm and Taffy, and a bag to carry them in.

     On her way out, she stopped in the yard. The stall’s ominous presence beckoned to her as she moved slowly towards it. Without Storm, it was gut-wrenchingly empty. She was happy he was in a place where he was provided turnout with friends now, but the piecemeal structure still looked wrong without him.

     She picked his halter off the wall. ‘Perfect Storm’ was engraved onto a scuffed gold nameplate affixed to the cheek piece. She ran her thumb over it, tears stinging her eyes. She’d told Kali that she would take him back if she ever wanted to sell him or lost the means to care for him, and she’d promised to come to Brynn first, but that was only a small comfort.

     She placed the halter in the bag, her hands shaking as anguish and anger burned from her heart down to her fingertips. The hideous wooden box was mocking her now; a shameful emblem of her own hubris. She felt hot, there was a scorching inferno erupting from her soul. Eclipse was spending her days in a deceptively pretty version of this. Beautiful, they’d call it, immaculate, luxurious. But for whom? She was screaming inside now, wishing she could help Eclipse where she’d failed Storm, wishing she’d been more open to other people and ideas, wishing she’d never let herself become the captain.

     Fire was ripping through her, igniting her shaking hands with the smouldering embers of every transgression of which she’d been a victim or a perpetrator, then catching on the derelict wooden dungeon.

      She watched the flames grow as they devoured it, crackling hypnotically as they fed on the old sunbaked wood. She could remember her dad helping her build it, the rush of excitement she’d felt upon bringing Storm home for the first time, the adventures she’d imagined them having together, how his ears would perk up when she’d come out to greet him, how she knew she’d always have a friend to come home to. Within its ramshackle walls, it still held a piece of her. But it was just a symbol now; she had another friend to return to and another Alabriss who needed her.

     The fire roared in her head, drowning out the sounds of her shouting parents and concerned onlookers. As she turned away, feeling its heat radiating behind her, she pictured it was the entire track she’d set ablaze.

     *-*-*

     Hanso greeted her with open arms, waiting in the pasture with Taffy at his side. She sprinted towards him, ignoring the shock when she vaulted over the fence and barrelled into him, nearly knocking them both over.

     “Sorry I’m late,” she said, still buzzing with exhilaration and just a touch of electrocution.

     “Does this mean it went well with your parents?” he asked cautiously.

     She pulled back to look at him, a million thoughts racing through her head but mostly how nice it was to have someone actually inquire about how she was feeling.

     “About as well as could be expected. I started a fire,” she told him.

     “That bad, huh?”

     Brynn laughed, thoroughly grateful that he’d given her a means of finding joy in something so woefully unfunny.

     “I’ll tell you more later, but I wanted to give you this.” She pulled her copy of Legend of the Alabriss out of the bag and offered it to him. “I know it’s not much, but it meant a lot to me as a kid. You kind of remind me of the captain’s prisoner who helps the Alabriss escape. I used to want to be like him, but guess I ended up becoming the captain instead.”

     “Are you sure you want to give me this?” he asked, seeming to note its sentimental value as one of the only things she’d taken from her former home.

     “Yes, very sure.”

     “Thank you,” he smiled tenderly, the faintest hint of a blush tinting his cheeks. “And for the record, I don't think the captain ever ate fig sandwichs with his Alabrisses."

      She gave him a tepid smile. "I suppose not."

     "Besides, you strike me as more of a pirate captain than a knight captain. And I would of course be your dashing first mate."

      "Wait a minute." She raised an eyebrow. “I don’t remember saying you could be first mate.”

      Hanso put his hand to his chest in mock offense. "What more must I do to prove myself to you?"

      "What about Taffy?" she asked, bending down to lift the Naalala into her arms. "He's sweet and loyal, and he's been there for me through everything." Taffy nuzzled her face, enjoying the affectionate tone.

     Hanso pouted. "I'm sweet and loyal too."

      "Hmm, I'll consider it. You are, at least, a wonderfully inspiring artist."

      "You saw it, then?" He lit up expectantly.

     "It was brilliant."

     "I knew you'd like it." His words were characteristically cocky, but his smile was humble and genuine.

     “Will you do more?”

     “What kind of an artist would I be if I deprived the world of my talent and vision?”

     Brynn rolled her eyes, feeling a smile pulling at the corners of her mouth. “I can’t disagree. Just be careful, I don’t want to find out you were hurt or arrested doing some crazy stunt.”

     “So says the lady who just added arson to her list of criminal offenses.”

     “It wasn’t arson! …I don’t think. And I didn’t mean to, it just sort of happened.”

     “I’m not sure if ‘It just sort of happened’ is going to hold up in court.”

     Brynn withheld a groan. She’d show him later, if she was even able to reproduce whatever she’d done. Preferably in an open location away from any Petpets or flammable structures. For now, though, she had other things she wanted to discuss. "I've been thinking,” she started, cutting off the arson tangent. “I'd like to study more and eventually start training again. I feel I have an obligation to end this vicious cycle for as many people as I can. In the meantime, though, I have another idea if you'd be receptive to it."

     "Let's hear it, captain.”

     Brynn hesitated, second guessing herself. She thought about Hanso and everything he’d already done for her, how he’d helped to shatter her link in an infinite chain just by being kind. She thought about Storm, who still greeted her with fondness despite everything she’d put him through. She thought about Xandra, who, despite her unpleasant demeanour, seemed to be equally as broken and demoralised by the powers that be. She thought of Eclipse, who had her cries for help punished and ignored; a ball of tension and chronic stress who was about to be thrown into the Colosseum.

     “It’s a lot to ask… Don’t feel pressured to say yes or decide immediately.”

     Hanso heaved a dramatic sigh. “Just tell me already.”

     “Well… do you still fancy yourself a master thief?”

     “I admit I’m a bit out of practice, and believe what I said was that I [i]could[/i] have been a master thief. I’m more of a master artist these days.” He paused, his eyes narrowing. “Is this going where I think it’s going?”

     “That depends… how would you feel about helping me steal another Alabriss?”

     The End.