Barmy Breakfast

     Today: what should be a day of rest before the next week of work.

     Tomorrow: The Barmy Breakfast!

     Which means that Thuay, Darigan Ixi, Editor in the Comics department of the Neopian Times, has a whole day ahead of her to construct her entry for the competition tomorrow.

     The upcoming event had been planned in for the first day of the working week this year and would see one of the Office's famous 'Barmy Breakfasts', where anyone from the various departments that contribute to the institution of the Neopian Times will be eligible compete to concoct the most unusual and over-the-top culinary creations.

     Everyone competing would be expected to bring in their odd choices first thing and during the morning there would also be a tasting and judging panel.

     Of course, there were rules and parameters she would need to stick to.

     Thusly:

     No repeats - any entries that have placed in the top 5 in previous years may not be re-entered. There is some flexibility for ‘main ingredient’ but this is at the whim of the judge.

     Your entry must fit inside a biscuit/cake tin. This will make it easier to transport but also makes sure that everyone is on a more even playing field when it comes to comparison.

     The more colourful, the better.

     The more odd and unusual, the better.

     Your entry must be ENTIRELY edible.

     With the luxury of the full day ahead of the event, there wouldn’t be a mad dash and scramble to produce her entry over an evening - Thuay had time to leisurely pick up ingredients and design something beyond Kreludor! They hadn’t even run the contest last year due to unusual ‘scheduling conflicts’. So there was a little more pressure after the break to bring something magnificent.

     Thuay threw on two pairs of Yellow Spring Wellies and her Yellow Hooded Raincoat - despite the yellow clashing terribly with her purple fur - necessary garb for the seasonal showers outside - typical Month of Hunting weather. She also grabbed her cloth bags, ready to peruse the shops of Neopia Central and pick up all her ingredients.

     First she headed to Neopian Health Foods because it was sure to be a destination full of the brightest produce and freshest flavours. It was hard to resist so many of the tempting treats and she thought back to a few years ago when she had constructed an Acara Cabbage Cake with stuffed olives for eyes. Thuay didn’t feel entirely compelled to create a portrait of a pal again this year though, especially as it might break Rule 1: ‘no repeats’. Then again, she was very tempted by a large purple cabbage - this one much more lavender in tone than the usual deep purple available. Thuay resolved that if no better ideas came to mind during this excursion then she would definitely be basing her entry around this magnificent specimen of cabbage.

     She was also able to pick up some Organic Peanut Butter from the cheerful Quiggle, Quinton, who runs the store. He looked at her basket which also contained some carrots, sprouts, broccoli and strawberries and gave it an approving nod. He calculated what she owed and after a brief haggle, they agreed on a price. Thuay left his establishment, pockets lighter and bags heavier - ready to find the things that would make a tasty, yet unusual, addition to her recipe.

     As she headed towards Neopian Fresh Foods, Thuay noticed an unusual stall just outside. The sign read ‘Travelling Jelly Foods - from a land that doesn’t exist’. It appeared that, as the sign implied, every single item for sale was constructed of Jelly. Everything was so vibrant and tempting that she took a while deciding on the beautifully pink Raspberry Jelly Muffin to purchase.

     Inside Neopian Fresh Foods she kept to the jelly theme and picked up some Egg Gelatin as the tiny eggs floating within were too amusing to her to ignore.

     Thuay had already decided that there needed to be a combination of Peanut Butter and Jelly in her masterpiece - if only to point out the unusual Neopians who insisted that Jam was called Jelly and whose PB&Js wouldn’t be quite so appealing if they contained real Jelly.

     With her odd collection of purchases all packed up, Thuay headed home to start compiling them all into her magnificent entry.

     After setting down her bags on the counter, she reached over to switch on her Pink Retro Radio so that she could bop along to some music as she got on with her task. It wasn’t going to be cooking, exactly. As the tunes started up and she put all her ingredients onto the sideboard, she entered a creative zone of focus and determination. The minutes passed in a blur as she arranged, trimmed, dolloped, cut, re-arranged and edited.

     She took a step back and pondered the result.

     It wasn’t pretty. It didn’t need to be. It didn’t look tasty, but it was edible. The colours of it all were her favourite part. And now it needed a name for the label. After much consideration, Thuay picked up her marker and scrawled ‘Peanut Butter and Jelly Egg Cabbage’ on the edge of her cake tin. Well, she resolved, we can make the joke ‘it does what it says on the tin’...

     With her Barmy Breakfast constructed and boxed away, she stuck it in the fridge and got on with her afternoon plans of a suitable mix of chores and relaxation, heavy on the relaxing. Ending the day with a satisfied nod - she couldn’t wait to see what everyone else was going to bring tomorrow.

     ---

     The dawn rose on a day of jollity. The anticipation of the event was settling over the Neopian Times Office. The teams were filing in, greeting their colleagues, and settling into their desks.

     Thuay headed straight to the break room with her cake tin, filled with the ridiculous ‘Peanut Butter and Jelly Egg Cabbage’. The Barmy Breakfast was due to start at 10 so Thuay popped her tin on the table and headed back to her desk to get a little work started before the judging was due to begin.

     She spotted her friends dropping off the other entries and before she had gone through more than a few of her comics for the day it was time for them to gather together and see the results of everyone’s nonsense food projects.

     The Barmy Breakfast would be judged by Knem: the entrants and other spectators gathered around the table of treats to see what everyone had submitted. Knem had all kinds of parameters to judge against, beyond the rules. And, thankfully, no one had broken any of the regulations so there were no instant disqualifications.

     Knem worked through every entry on the table, getting the contributors to introduce their creations and then taste testing them. He stood with a detailed checklist so he could give ratings for all his categories. Humming to himself as he mulled over the choices he had to make.

     As the process moved onward, Knem declared Thuay’s cabbage as, ‘truly the ‘breakfast of the brave’ but in the end it was her colleague Lizia who took this year’s top place with her BluePepper Porridge which was the perfect mix of delicious, spooky, weird and delightful.

     Congratulations ensued and some of the most delicious entries were demolished as everyone dug in and polished off the Ocean Delight Salad and the Guacasymole. As they giggled over some of the presentations, a photo was snapped for the archives. Everyone wandered back to their desks; hearts and tummies full.

     The End.