Voice of the Neopian Pound Circulation: 197,890,897 Issue: 1012 | 12th day of Swimming, Y26
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An Undercover Adventure Inside Shoyrux Enterprises


by cuchatenador

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Greetings, Neopians, and welcome to another edition of the Neopian Times. Your favourite correspondent, Ned Featherquill, recently embarked on a covert mission to uncover the secrets of the most enigmatic company in Neopia: Shoyrux Enterprises.

     -

     The other day I stopped by the stock market, and while browsing the companies I stumbled into a very intriguing description: "Shoyrux Enterprises is a very mysterious company. No one knows exactly what they do, nobody goes into their offices and nobody comes out, yet their stock price keeps on rising! Slogan - Making your life easier". I tried asking Nigel about it, but he merely shrugged at my inquiries and told me that he didn’t buy Neopia’s first sports car by asking questions.

     Undeterred, I conducted some research on the company and it yielded… not much, surprisingly. A true mystery. With a slogan like "Making your life easier," one has to wonder what they're really up to behind those tightly shut doors, right? So, I decided to take matters into my own paws and set out to unravel the mystery.

     The Plan

     My first challenge, naturally, was to get inside the headquarters of Shoyrux Enterprises. After several attempts at charm failed at the front desk, I resorted to plan B: an elaborate disguise. With a fake mustache, a borrowed lab coat, and a clipboard (the universal symbol of authority), I transformed into Nedward Storytail, a newly hired intern.

     I strutted into the lobby with confidence. The receptionist, a rather intimidating Hissi - Ms. Grimley, according to the nametag on her immaculate white shirt- glanced up briefly from her desk. I gave her my best “I belong here” nod, and to my surprise, she merely waved me through.

     The Office Tour

     I decided to start my investigation on the top floor. According to my sources (a janitor who shall remain unnamed), this is where the "big brains" work. So, what do they do? Their exact words were "they do things up there that would make your fur stand on end".

     Upon reaching the top floor, I found rows of cubicles, each occupied by a worker glued to a computer screen. I casually sidled up to one of them and pretended to inspect a potted plant. My target, an Aisha in a Yes Boy Ice Cream shirt, didn't seem to see me. I peeked at his screen, expecting to see complex graphs or top-secret documents. Instead, he was playing Cheat! Upon noticing me noticing him, he just gave me a limp nod and continued playing.

     And he wasn't alone. As I wandered from cubicle to cubicle, I found others engrossed in similar activities: playing Meerca Chase, reading the Neopian Times, or browsing the NC Mall. This struck me as odd, as normally you would pretend to be working if someone passed by your desk, but these employees were doing just the opposite. Almost like pretending that they were NOT working (on something suspicious?) was their goal.

     Feeling a mix of confusion and curiosity, I made my way to the break room. There, I encountered a group of employees engaged in what looked like an intense strategy meeting. I eavesdropped from behind a vending machine, expecting to hear top-secret plans.

     "Did you hear about King Skarl turning gray?" one Blumaroo whispered excitedly.

     "I did! I heard he spent a fortune on paintbrushes trying to change colours, with no luck" another replied.

     “I see our taxes are being put to good use, '' murmured a Draik.

     Just then, the door to the break room burst open, and in walked the most impressive Shoyru I'd ever seen. He was tall, with a commanding presence and a name tag that read "Mr. X."

     Mr. X surveyed the room with a piercing gaze. The employees immediately fell silent, their eyes fixed elsewhere. My heart pounded as I tried to make myself as inconspicuous as possible behind the vending machine.

     "Good afternoon," Mr. X said in a voice that could have cut glass. "I trust everyone is... busy?"

     A chorus of murmured affirmations followed. Mr. X's eyes scanned the room, lingering for a moment too long on the vending machine behind which I was hiding. I held my breath, praying my disguise would hold up.

     "Remember," he continued, "curiosity can be dangerous. Focus on your tasks and all will be well."

     With that, he turned and walked out, leaving a palpable tension in the room. The employees immediately resumed their activities, but the atmosphere had shifted. I knew I had to be extra careful.

     Things take a turn for the worse

     Feeling emboldened by Mr. X's departure, I decided to take a risk and investigate further. I spotted a door marked "Restricted Access" at the far end of the break room. My journalistic instincts took over, and I slowly made my way towards it.

     As I reached for the door handle, a firm grip on my shoulder stopped me. I turned to see Ms. Grimley, her eyes narrowing with suspicion.

     "Just what do you think you're doing?" she hissed.

     "Uh, just... checking if this is the bathroom," I stammered, my heart sinking.

     "Nice try, ‘intern’" she said, her grip tightening. "You're coming with me."

     Ms. Grimley escorted me out of the building, her grip unyielding. My mind raced with unanswered questions and a growing sense of frustration. As we reached the lobby, she leaned in close and whispered, "If you value your safety, you won't come back."

     With that, she shoved me out the door and slammed it shut behind me. I stood there, dazed and bewildered, my mission incomplete and my curiosity more intense than ever.

     Conclusion

     So there you have it, dear readers. My journey into Shoyrux Enterprises left me with more questions than answers. What exactly do they do? How does their stock keep rising? And what lies behind that restricted door? The mystery remains unsolved, and perhaps it always will.

     As I walked away from Shoyrux Enterprises, I couldn't shake the feeling that something monumental was happening behind those walls. The truth, whatever it may be, continues to elude us. Until next time, this is Ned Featherquill, your undercover correspondent. Stay curious, Neopia.

     

 
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