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GALLERY OF EVIL - Who isn't interested in becoming an Evil Mastermind ready to
take over Neopia? Well, obviously Dr. Sloth is an "Evil Mastermind" but has had
very many failed attempts at trying to take over something.
We are going to countdown 10 Steps to becoming an Evil Mastermind. So put
on your cloak, and possibly grab a wand or staff and get ready to run out of
your Neohome and take over Neopia (or if you're a simplistic kind of person;
steal the next door neighbor's socks)
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Step #1
All Evil Masterminds must have a plan, if you do not have a plan, then I suggest
you grab a piece of paper and a pen/pencil right now and create one up. Usually
the basic plan is to take over enslave Neopia by taking over it but it is really
nice to see an original plan. Maybe you could take over the Unis Fine Clothing
shop in the Neopian Bazaar to create an ultimate and undefeatable SOCK DRAGON!!!!!
*cough* moving along…
Step #2
If your plan does not include taking over Neopia but a World found
in Neopia then I suggest you live in that part of the area SECRETLY for a few
months to get the feel of the place and if it really is what you would like
to Conquer. Make sure you do not tell anyone or your face could be the next
Poster to be put up in the Kiosk Post Shop.
Step #3
You need the Clothing and Accessories. This might be hard to come
up with an original design. Try using the ever-so-popular Cloak, I think Snot
would be a great one. It hasn't been used before, maybe add a nice Snot Staff
that when used shoots out a Snot Net at Neopians which will then cover them
in Snot and make them become your loyal slave? People all over town would be
saying "Move over Meuka, there's a new evil Snot in town!"
Step #4
Backup! No I don't mean Back up as in move away from me, I mean you
need people to be by your side, help you fight off those who do not like your
plans and wish to destroy you. Hmm a better word for it would be an Army of
Trained Clones that could shoot laser beams out of their eyes when looking at
someone. *coughs* Nope that's been done by Sloth already :( I am sure you can
think of some sort of original powers your Army could have?
Step #5
You need to pick a time to attack and when to retreat (that's if your
Army is not doing to well). Usually the best time to attack is at Mid-Evening,
there are not to many Neopians around as they are sound-asleep in their Neohomes
dreaming of Snow Faeries dancing in their head. Well you need to stop that sick
and foul scene and make their dreams Evil Mutated Giant Slorgs trying to eat
them, Muahaha that is evil isn't it?
Step #6
You need to pick an elite team of people who can send out your messages
of war. It's best to have strong Neopets do this, Grarrl, Skeith are just a
name of some. Make sure their apparel is evil-looking. Do you think if people
saw a Chia covered in Asparagus running around in the middle of Neopia Marketplace
yelling "OUR EVIL MASTER IS COMING! BE READY FOR A WAR NEOPIA HAS NEVER SEEN
BEFORE!" would be scared? The majority of the people would think it was Adam
running around in a costume simply because he had a few to many "Mystery Island
Asparagus Cocktails". So you can scratch that off your list of "People I should
add to my Elite Team for my upcoming War".
Step #7
Weapons, You and your Army need a godly amount of weapons. It is best
to have weapons that can do an assorted amount of icon-types and a huge amount
of those types of icons. You will also need defensive weapons, usually a lot
of the people on the "Good Side" will use the same icon-types so it is best
to get weapons that will defend against them or possibly reflect it back at
them. In addition you will need a constant Freezing and Healing item. Be sure
to pick well and think hard on the ones you are choosing, they might just win
your war.
Step #8
You will always need people that are not featured in your Army to
fight for you, the more the merrier. Have a "Sign-Up for my War" day a few days
prior to raising complete and utter furry upon Neopia. It is always good to
meet the people who will be fighting for you as well, maybe have a "Meet and
Greet" on that day as well?
Step #9
When commencing war you need to attack the opponent with force, with so much
force that some of their Army and other people fighting for them will be so
scared that they will back out and hide under a giant Pet Rock. This of course
is what your weapons will do and possibly your appearance. Am I saying you're
Ugly? Certainly not, but Dr. Sloth and Lord Darigan were no Super-Models.
Step #10
Attacking in different numbers at various times. Attacking your opponent
at various times when they are weak or do not have as many Men as you will certainly
help you out. Be sure to replace your Army with various "Spares" if you find
one or more slacking or needing rest. We do not want a un-evil and tired fighter
out there, now do we?
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Well this has been 10 Steps to becoming an Evil Mastermind, simply follow
what you have learned today and I am sure that you are bound to have some sort
of success unlike the many Evil Masterminds that Neopia has seen fail over the
many years.
If you feel that becoming an Evil Mastermind is not for you, you could always
join someone's Army and help them take over the world, but who would want that?
You've seen what happened to those who've followed Lord Darigan. They were never
safe before he had his precious little Orb but now that he is gone, they are
worse off, well… with that evil Lord Kass planning complete an utter destruction
upon Meridell, which we all hope happens.. Muahaha!
May the war you plan be great success and hopefully you will reign over Neopia,
Good luck.. Erm master? :P
Thank you for reading this article and if you have any questions or comments
feel free to Neomail me anytime. I will try to respond back as soon as I can
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