The Neo-Market Report

By stereolab

Hello and welcome to another installment of "The Neo-Market Report." After a one week vacation on Mystery Island, our hosts Neil Kauvuto and Maria Blumaroono have returned to bring you all the latest developments from the floor of the Neodaq. Joining them this week will be Cappa Torville, President of Hakaheke Island Flights, who will be here to discuss some of the tourist attractions of Mystery Island. And now, here are Neil and Maria…

KAUVUTO: Hello and thank you for joining us as we present this week's edition of The Neo-Market Report. I'm your host Neil Kauvuto, and as always I'm joined by my co-host Maria Blumaroono, who is at The News Desk with the latest word from the Exchange. Maria, take it away…

BLUMAROONO: Thank you, Neil. It appears that the winter freeze that hit the market is finally starting to thaw, and now investors seem to be looking to take advantage of all the bargains that await them. Leading the charge in this suddenly bullish market is Chia Steel, who announced a record number of new contracts for the Spring Quarter and then proceeded to watch their value triple in less than two weeks. Others showing significant gains during this recent surge include Cybun Electromatics, whose value has jumped from 563 to 1065 NPs a share in the last ten days, and The Presidential Palace, which has tripled its stock value after being featured on Ferrin Atchley's Around the World In Style.

KAUVUTO: However, despite this recent bullishness on the floor, there are still a few companies getting the cold shoulder from investors. Among those failing to cash in on the market conditions are Peophin Water Parks, whose Neopian Extravaganza on Ice skating spectacular opened to poor reviews, and The Neopian Auction House, whose program of Neo-Abstractionists works by Twockly, DeKiko and Rothkoi failed to generate many bids. To no one's surprise, Neggwork Commerce has continued to plunge, dropping another fifty six points. The stock now sits at a miserable forty-two NPs a share, a mere 1% of its value less than two months ago.

BLUMAROONO: But on a lighter note, as many of you now know Neil and I spent a week's vacation on lovely Mystery Island. Let me just say that, with the non-stop pressure of the market, it was nice to get away and forget about Quarterly Reports and fifty-two weeks lows for a few days. Joining us today is the President of Hakaheke Island Flights, Cappa Torville, who is here to discuss just a few of the many reasons to visit Mystery Island on your vacation. Cappa, thanks for joining us…

CAPPA: Thank you for having me on, Maria…

BLUMAROONO: Now, before we begin, Neil and I would like to clarify that the Neopian Times paid for our vacations, and that we did not fly on Hakaheke for our trip. We wouldn't want anyone to think that we received these vacations as some sort of payment for your appearing with us today.

CAPPA: That is correct.

BLUMAROONO: That being said, upon our return Neil and I decided that we had such a great time on Mystery Island that we should let our fans know about it. And that's when we thought, "Hey, let's get Cappa to do the show," because let's face it, nobody knows Mystery Island like you do…

CAPPA: Well, having been born and raised on Mystery Island, as well as being the President of a company that provides more flights to Mystery Island than any other traveling agency, I suppose you could say that I know a thing or two about the island. [chuckles]

KAUVUTO: Exactly. Now, one of the main attractions of Mystery Island are the beaches. Could you tell our audience about them?

CAPPA: Ah, the beaches of Mystery Island… there are so many fantastic beach spots. Though the general agreement is that Omara Bay is the island's most beautiful beach, I have to admit that I'm actually partial Coral Shores…

KAUVUTO: That wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that you grew up in a village just outside of Coral Shores, would it?

CAPPA: Ah, young Kauvuto, I see you've done your homework… I supposed there is some bias involved, but any surf bum would tell you that the four to six foot swells that we get at Coral Shores just can't be beat.

BLUMAROONO: Now, I have to admit that my favorite part of visiting Mystery Island was the Marketplace. I spent half the week there, but when I got back all my friends loved the gifts that I had picked up. I got my mother a Clay Vase, and let me tell you...she just loved it!

CAPPA: The Mystery Island Marketplace is known throughout Neopia for having great deals on some truly one-of-a-kind items. Since there is no major industry on the island, our collection of artisans and craftsmen are truly without rival.

KAUVUTO: Lastly, I hate to be a downer, but during our stay we heard several reports of pick pocketing… the couple staying next to me actually had their bungalow broken into. And, from what I understand, with the rising influence of the Juppie Smuggling industry, it's only gotten worse. Can you tell us what is being done to reduce crime on Mystery Island?

CAPPA: I'm glad you asked about that, Neil. In addition to doubling the number of customs officers on the island, the Pango Tribe have also set up a special Task Force to help "discourage" the spread of crime on Mystery Island. From what I understand they've been very effective…

BLUMAROONO: Unfortunately, that's all we have time for today. For Neil Kauvuto and Cappa Torville, this is Maria Blumaroono saying thank you and so long…