The Plight of Petpets

     For too long this disparity has been ignored. That all changes now. What follows is a long overdue examination into how Petpets are systematically under-appreciated and treated poorly throughout Neopia, and some suggestions as to how we can do better.

     Petpet Lab Ray

     Two lab rays exist in Neopia, one for pets, the other for Petpets. They’re both fraught with risk, but there are some key differences in the severity of these gambles.

     The biggest risk your Neopet faces at its version of the lab is the possibility of being transformed into an “unattractive” species, colour, or combination of the two. If this happens to your pet, and you’re really upset because your precious Draik is now an Ogrin, try to remember beauty is relative, but also try talking to some of the Petpets who have experienced the worst their lab ray has to offer. You might find that rather difficult, because they no longer exist. Yes, Petpets not only face the same colour/species risk as pets, but they also face the additional risks of being turned into a pile of soot, snow or, you know, just totally and completely erased from existence.

     If your pet could be deleted by the lab ray, nobody would ever use it. And yet, the Petpet lab ray continues to be used day after day.

     Turmaculus

     Ah yes, one of the largest Petpets in all of Neopia! Surely this is evidence that Petpets have it pretty easy, right? I mean, this overgrown Turmac just lounges about, living the life. Turmy only wakes up for a couple of hours a day to roll over, burp, or *ahem* eat…

     Go ahead, try to wake him. I just think you and your Petpet might have differing opinions as to the value of an avatar.

     Games Room

     Want to feature in a game? If you’re a pet, you’re in luck! You can raid treasure in Maraqua or search for golden artefacts on Mystery Island! If you’re a Petpet, well, have I got a choice for you! You can be eaten by Florg, eaten by a Snowbeast or eaten by Balthazar!

     In addition to this clear inequality, in two out of three of the Petpet themed games referenced above, your job as the player is actually to help the beasts consume their Petpet snacks! I don’t know if anyone else is prepared to admit it but getting the Feed Florg avatar was a serious struggle for me. Do you not see their little teary faces? Sometimes, in order to balance out my more “successful” rounds while going for the avatar, I would start the game and then just sit back, not touching any keys, so all the Petpets can run off the table to safety. Sure, my game ended quickly, but I felt happy in the knowledge that the Petpets from at least those rounds were spared.

     Where is the Petpet Protection League is all this, I hear you say? Well, when the PPL does arrive to obstruct the odious operations occurring, its members are portrayed as antagonists! In Snowbeast Snackrifice they become goalkeepers in the most macabre version of a penalty shootout imaginable, where players are asked to find themselves frustrated every time a Petpet is saved.

     To make matters even worse, the few games that do allow the player to save Petpets do so in a way which puts other Petpets at risk. Want to help some Kadoaties down from a high tree branch? Sure, just go right ahead and build me a precarious tower of Warf right into the sky.

     Grave Danger

     This semi-daily is the most recent addition to the Petpet owners’ unfortunate repertoire. It’s so simple - all you need to do is send your Petpet down into a terrifying nightmare world of Ghost Meepits, skeletons and cultists. After six or seven hours of them being alone in the dark, and the cold, you might end up with a small, usually worthless, gift.

     Bear in mind that for those seven-ish hours your Petpet spends foraging and working hard, you and your Neopet are free to have a grand old time in Neopia. Maybe you’ll relax on a beach or visit the Merry-Go-Round at Roo Island – the options are endless, and distinctly lacking in subterranean qualities. Your Petpet has options too, but those options are usually restricted to whether it would rather get covered in slime or face a Gelatinous Non-Cube. You couldn’t possibly enter the tomb yourself, or send your pet instead? The entrance is too small, you say? Yeah, right, sure it is.

     The good news is that there is a small chance your Petpet will retrieve something worthwhile to show for the ordeal that they went through on your behalf, such as the Grave Danger Stamp. The bad news is that the very remote chance of a stamp only motivates more players to put their little Petpets at peril, even though it’s still overwhelmingly likely they’ll instead return with something you’ll either discard immediately or leave sitting in your safety deposit box until the next Charity Corner.

     What can we do?

     It’s clear that for too long we’ve failed to appreciate the work Petpets do on our behalf. They often find themselves flying in the face of danger, all for the remote chance that we’ll earn a prize or an avatar. Here are some things to keep in mind which may hopefully go part of the way towards reversing past injustices:

     Firstly, get your pet to appreciate its Petpet every day. It’s easy to forget there is an option to speak with your Petpets. Doing so regularly would make all of you happier, especially if you choose some words of affirmation. Perhaps TNT can consider adding “speak with your Petpet” to the list of possible Daily Quests in future.

     Secondly, try to avoid the Petpet lab ray, but if you do use it, when the ray changes your Petpet’s name, for goodness’ sake, change it back. Imagine if you had to go around with a name like Oopsy, or PookyMcDroolish, or Greg for months on end. Changing it back takes a few seconds at the most, so there’s really no excuse for laziness.

     And finally, become an upstander instead of a bystander and join the Petpet Protection League. Its membership is somewhat diminished lately due to Snowbeast related injuries, but don’t let that put you off. Our Petpets deserve better.