There are ants in my Lucky Green Boots Circulation: 197,890,901 Issue: 1015 | 23rd day of Hiding, Y26
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Not the Best Family Reunion


by kayixu

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In the wilderness outside of Faerieland's bounds, guarded closely behind an army of trees, there was a lake. Wisps of half-realized elemental spells darted in and out of sight, reflecting on the ripples. Souring the view was a sprinkling of litter across the otherwise beautiful shoreline of smooth pebbles. That, and the team of evil maniacs standing around near the water’s edge. That kind of thing was an eyesore too.

     Notixu stood between two hulking figures which vaguely resembled Neopets. Her tiny frame cast against such a backdrop should have been comical. Perhaps it would have been in any other circumstance. A wicked smile perched unmoving, subtle yet glaring, and her eyes were radiating malicious intent.

     Maul trotted up to her and took his place beside her. Reena gripped her staff tight. Kalilu’s teeth were bared. Needles bound to shadowy threads rose from Mio’s fabric pelt, and Kayixu’s aura crackled with otherworldly energy.

     The two groups stared each other down. The wildlife here was silent, all hiding away in their burrows. A sharp wind howled through the forest, and freezing droplets began to fall.

     Here they were, after everything. At last, it was time to end this mess. The patched-together Neofamily, or what was left of it, facing down their latest set of rivals. They each put on a brave face, but their hearts were pounding with the weight of a thousand what-ifs. What once had been now flashed in their collective gaze, days of yore as distant to them as the faintest of stars in the heavens. Older, wiser, more unhinged… Oh, they were still themselves, yet different all the same. Strange mirrors to their selves of the past.

     Notixu chuckled as if a writer was trying to be poetic when they really should have been cleaning the fridge instead. Thankfully, she wasn’t in the mood to break the fourth wall today.

      “Where’s Leala?” asked Kayixu, eyes darting around but never straying from her double for too long. “Where’d you put my bunny, you little snot?”

      “Aw, you’re no fun,” said Notixu in a playful voice. “Getting right to the point; now, where’s the joy in that?”

      “I find joy in points. Extra sharp points. Like THIS ONE!” With one swift motion, Kayixu reached into her pocket and wielded an empty candy wrapper. “Ha! No, wait. Hold on.”

     Notixu blinked, her expression unchanging. The evil Neopets looked at each other, confused.

      “Like THIS one!” Kayixu tried again, this time producing a half-eaten mozzarella stick. “Oh, that’s where I left it. Okay, the third time’s the charm. Like THIS-”

     A blast shot from Reena’s staff. Blinding white carved a jagged path through the rain to its target. The Kau barely dodged in time. She vanished into a pool of liquid darkness. Reena took to the air.

     Kalilu’s tail twitched. She stalked closer, regained muscle rippling beneath her skin. She pounced. The Acara growled and swatted her to the side. She landed with a roll and the Acara’s attack met Tyrannian fangs.

     Mio, sensing the pattern, hopped over to Maul. He looked down at her and chuckled. Thimble clung to her ear. Maul readied a spell but didn’t notice Mio’s own. He choked on phantom threads.

     * * *

     Leala came too slowly, with Charka complaining about how her body was too pitifully broken to try committing arson with. Rain fell in a light but steady rhythm, and she was trapped in a cage of twisted roots. There was a flash and a peal of thunder.

     With an annoyed sigh, she started gnawing at the roots. Her pelt was coal-dark and her seeing eye was coated in a tiresome haze. Pain crept up the leg with the paw that Null had broken. Her muscles, tendons and blood cells screamed at her to stop. She ignored them, of course. What kind of mad scientist would she be if she took orders from mere biology? No, she had a threat to vaporize… If only she’d brought something to vaporize it with.

     The cold cut through her fur and froze her very core. By the time she chewed herself free, the Magma ‘pet couldn’t feel her ears anymore. Not that she cared to. They’d probably hurt.

     She clambered out of the makeshift prison cell, her coat slick with fresh mud, and looked around. She blinked and rubbed at her eyes. Nothing in her sight made any sense to her brain. Wires kept getting crossed just as she started to think herself fit to navigate. Eventually, she chose a direction and got moving.

     The storm picked up. Rain pelted her like countless shards of glass. She hopped along a faint Juma trail, stopping often for breath. The ghost in her skull rambled on but she failed to pick up its words over the hiss of water and the roar of electric outbursts. There was a different voice, however...

      “Leala? Leala!”

     The Cybunny landed with a splash, sitting down in the puddle to watch the serpentine shape dive down at her. It was clad in dark and flowing robes, had a dagger secured to each feathery arm, and its golden gaze was alight with fury and fear. Her golden wings fluttered beneath the flurry of droplets. She slithered over to Leala with a hiss.

      “What have you gotten yourself into? I have better things to do than run around chasing your tail! I don’t-I-I can’t- are you okay?”

      “How did you know where to find me?”

      “Connections,” said the Hissi ominously.

     Leala grinned up at her. “And what was all that about you not getting involved in this?”

      “I’m not. I’m ending it. Then you bunch o’ freaks are leaving me alone.”

      “Sure, whatever you say Miss Fancy Scales.”

      “Now tell me where-”

     There was an explosion in the distance.

      “Never mind.”

     * * *

     The eldritch Kau slithered from a pool of shadows and charged upward at Reena. She snarled, aiming her staff. A blast of water magic poured like a flooded river. Moo broke through the torrent and headbutted Reena in the ribs. She tumbled toward the ground and landed with a harsh thud.

     Rage was living up to her name. Kalilu smirked and rolled to the side. She kept her fangs at the ready. The Acara rampaged without thought; clumsily, with little regard for strategic maneuver. They ran past each other. Kalilu’s claws marred the Acara’s shoulder.

     Maul danced around a tangle of sharps and strings. Mio was motionless at the center of it all like a hurricane’s peaceful core. Her expression blank, her black eyes followed his every movement. He twisted and turned past the onslaught and rammed her with charged horns. Stones clattered beneath her. The Bowla on her ear screeched.

      “Aha!” Kayixu at last revealed a maractite blade dagger. Darker in the middle with an icy blue edge, its twilight glow cast a pool of weak light around it.

      “A knife?”

      “A very pointy knife.”

     The impostor looked downward for a moment as though disappointed. “And here I thought you’d be interesting. Pity.”

     Null looked around at the battles playing out. “Well dearie, I’m afraid playtime’s over. This is starting to bore me.”

      “Boring? You think this is boring?” asked Kayixu, ambling closer to her double.

      “I do.”

      “Well, it’s not. This isn’t boring.” She smiled maniacally. “THIS. IS. NEOPIA!”

     One touch from the dagger’s tip. One minuscule poke. Null flew backward in a blinding flash of crackling and heat. In the distance, a splash. Kayixu blinked, her eyes reflecting oddly in the lingering light.

     Rage roared and swiped at the Kougress with all her might. Kalilu landed with a grunt by her friend’s side. Panting, she dragged her legs beneath her to sit up. Kayixu gave her a little pat on the head.

     Maul unleashed a wicked spell. The threads broke apart like strands of ash. Mio didn’t register in time to dodge his kick. His cloven hoof left a tear in her leg and Mio scurried towards Kayixu.

     Niri chirped on Reena’s shoulder. She couldn’t spin around in time. Moo slammed her tail into her and threw a ball of dark magic her way. Reena shielded herself with her wings, wincing, and slowly backed up to join the others.

      “Give up,” Maul spat, tiny stones clattering with his every step. “You lost before this fight began.”

      “Is that so?” asked Kalilu flatly.

      “Then how’d Kay beat your leader so easily?” Reena questioned as she ran her fingers through her mane.

     There was a laugh of countless voices and horrid screams. “Aw, you think that was it? How silly! Aren’t they silly, everyone?”

      “Shut up,” said Rage. “Run. Just run guys, okay? Get outta here while you have a chance.”

      “It… It does seem too easy,” Mio admitted.

     Kayixu’s gaze was locked on the lake.

     There were a few bubbles. A few became more, and more until the water appeared to be boiling. A deep, gurgling growl resonated through the water and the ground beneath their feet. The family readied, their backs turned to each other.

     A massive reptilian head broke the surface. Remnants of water magic poured over its black and gold scales. Its ears were tattered at the edges. Its fangs protruded unnaturally as if overflowing, and there was a jagged crest atop its head. It opened its eyes, a radiant gold interlaced with crimson, and looked down at them as though not truly seeing.

      “Uh, Kay? What is that?” asked Reena.

      “A problem.”

To be continued…

 
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