Snakebite Noir

     With a quick gesture, the Skeith called over his first mate, draping one arm across the Zafara's shoulders. "'Ere be the lad who smuggled the secret stash." Quickdust chuckled as he performed for the crowd. "Whilst we was rippin' the gold outta the paws o' those scrawny villagers!" He raised the tankard again and continued, "Those li'l shrimps on Krawk Island have nothin' on us 'ere on Scurvy Island! Yarr! Ain't that right, Jekon?"

     "Yer spot on, Captain! Why if it weren't fer me, y'all would pro'bly still be scroungin' 'round fer a single speck o' gold in that cave!" The Zafara made the crew burst out in laughter and a victory song. Walking over to his captain while the crowd chanted, Jekon spoke quietly. "Captain, methinks now be a swell time to set sail."

     "Relax, Jekon! Have ye anotha' swig!" Captain Quickdust shoved his own tankard into Jekon's chest for him to take. "Look 'round ye! Theys loves us! And why not, ah? We shows them we be the mightiest crew on the seas, ain't no one ta mess with us. Mystery Island can wait."

     "Aye, Captain!" The first mate didn't want to disobey his captain's orders. "Aye, we can plunder theys deep sea treasures later."

     The Bruce barkeep handed the Skeith a new drink. "It be from the feller standin' o'er thar." He turned to look at the hooded Hissi by the front door.

     "Wait ye 'ere a mo," Captain Quickdust told Jekon, then made his way over to the Hissi. "C'mere to join the party, have ye?"

     The scurfy stranger covered one ear with his wing, then shook his head to let the captain know he couldn't hear. Holding out a bag, he pulled out a tiki bomb that looked like the face of a coconut Jubjub and handed it to Quickdust.

     "Shiver me timbers!" Captain Quickdust immediately knew it was a rare and valuable item. He was surprised the stranger would give him the bomb. The Hissi flicked his tongue out, then slithered out the door without saying a word. Quickdust hid the explosive inside his coat, then turned back to find Jekon watching.

     Jekon belched loudly. "So what did the landlubber want?"

     The ship's crew were getting spoiled by the other neopets handing them new drinks every few minutes.

     "What did he want?" The captain thought quickly, stalling. "What did he want? I tells ye what he wanted! Anotha' round fer me boys! Arrr!"

     The crew cheered, then sang another shanty in merriment. The other denizens in the bar kept handing them more grog, assuring that not a single crewmember left their sight, not even the captain. After the first hour, the barkeep stepped out the backdoor.

     When the sun rose, Quickdust found he was not at all sleepy. He was so pumped up that he felt ready to set sail to Mystery Island, but his crew were all snoozing either on the floor, or hunched over tables. With a loud jump that shook all the trinkets and bottles on the bar shelves, he rudely woke them up.

     The crew set sail towards the small village they planned to raid. There'd been rumours of riches found at the bottom of the ocean and were now being kept in a village full of pacifists. When they arrived, the captain and his first mate found the village was completely deserted. The crew anchored the two-masted ship, then rowed to shore.

     "Captain, thar not be a single livin' soul 'round!" Jekon stated the obvious. "And the men say thar be only rubbish lyin' 'round fer fishin' an' huntin'."

     The captain had to think on his feet. Exhilarated by the thought of plunder, he said, "Burn it all down."

     Jekon looked at Quickdust in bewilderment. "Burn it? The whole lot?"

     "Aye. Burn it! If thar be treasure buried 'neath the sand, it can be found with fire an' 'splosives." He waited a long while for his orders to be carried out, but no straw huts were set aflame. "Avast! Lest ye lads want ta cross swords with me, I 'spect the village ta be burnin' right 'bout now!"

     "We can't find none o' the ship's bombs, Captain!" Jekon told him, flustered.

     Before Captain Quickdust could explode in anger, he suddenly remembered the tiki bomb in his coat. He took it out and gazed upon it, thinking about the wordless Hissi. Pleased with this twist of fate, he flashed a cunning smile, then swiftly chucked the bomb towards the centre of the village.

     The bomb landed on a hut and exploded outward, rapidly burning all the surrounding huts to ash. The hidden treasure chests, buried beneath rubble and sand, were revealed. The pirates cheered at the explosion, one of the men singing a song of victory. Excited to find the treasure at last, the crewmates joined in to sing and set about opening the chests. They found nothing. As they searched the surrounding area for more chests in hopes of finding treasure, one by one the men dropped to the ground, fast asleep.

     It was not long before the sudden drowsiness hit Jekon. He groggily turned towards his captain, a confused look on his face. "Cap . . . tain . . . What . . . be . . . this curse . . . ?"

     As he saw his crew fall, one by one, to the ground, Quickdust knew his men weren't faking. He turned and ran trying to get away from whatever curse was falling upon his crew. Quickly coming up with an idea, he clutched the dangling potion bottle around his neck. He was going to open and drink it to ward off any hex, but the spreading lethargy soon took control. He tripped forward and fell on his stomach. The bottle broke beneath him. As the heavy-eyed captain began to doze, he caught a glimpse of a shadowy figure standing in the distance on the shore.

     Hours passed before Captain Quickdust awoke. The smoke from the burning huts had nearly died down. He looked around, but couldn't see any of his men nearby. He called out to Jekon many times, but no one answered. The captain walked towards the shore where he remembered seeing someone before passing out. That was when he found a barrel halfway buried in the sand, a note pinned to it by a dagger. Quickdust fumed as he read it.

     Twas eezy fer me men ta steel yer gunpowder afor ye set sail then seize yer crew wen ye landed.

     I spyed ye relished me partin gift.

     Now YE tayk the blaim fer the bomb wilst I get away with me booty! Hahaha!

     ~Captain SCARBLADE

     Captain Quickdust unsheathed his cutlass and slashed the note to ribbons. With the hilt, he struck the barrel in anger and was rewarded with a blast of Skeith juice exploding outward to knock him to the ground, unconscious.

     In Shenkuu, Neriak observantly padded along the grassy road in the dark night. The Shoyru's shadow paint and all-black clothing hid her well as she crept along close to the buildings. The nearby river snaked down the mountain and cloaked the sound of her footsteps. As she neared the temple, she saw the figure of a large Lupe approaching, his lantern's flame flickering brightly before him.

     The Shoyru ninja slipped into the recessed doorway of an exotic shop, making herself one with the shadows. She closed her luminous blue eyes to avoid detection, then waited as she listened. She could hear slow, even footsteps as the uniformed guard neared her position. She held herself in readiness, her muscles ready to react quickly if she were discovered.

     The footsteps stopped.

     Her heartbeat thumped loudly in her head in anticipation. She felt, rather than saw, the light pointing directly at the doorway. She held her breath.

     The footsteps drew closer.

     "Who's there?" The Lupe's voice was deep and husky heightened by his temper. He raised his light higher so that its beam shone further into the shop. "What are you doing there? Get out here."

     Pretending to be crapulous could buy her enough time to escape, but his sense of smell would soon know that she lied. In fact, that was probably how he followed her there. Neriak decided to turn around. She batted her large eyes at him. "I'm so sorry, Sir." She made her voice soft, feminine; she looked up at the tall muscleman and made herself seem small and helpless. "I know it's past curfew, but my aunt is sick and needed medicine."

     The guard stared at her, his gaze taking in her dark clothing and appearance. "Show me the medicine."

     "Of course, Officer." Neriak pulled out a stone from her chest pocket and held it out towards him.

     "That doesn't look like medicine to me," the guard drawled, his gaze moving to her eyes.

     Darn! Why did it have to be someone so scrupulous for a guard? She fluttered her long eyelashes as she smiled coyly. "It's a soothing stone . . . to cure lurgees."

     "Lurgees?" He strode towards her, flashing his eyes in anger. "I've never heard of lurgees or soothing stones. I'm taking you in. You can explain why you're out after curfew to the captain."

     It went against all her instincts to let someone she didn't know so close to her, but Neriak forced herself to be patient. She knew where there was one guard, there were bound to be others. She couldn’t afford to draw any more notice to herself—too much attention would put her whole mission in jeopardy of failure.

     "Surely that isn't really necessary, is it, Sir?" She backed up slowly toward the darkened alcove behind her. The guard took another step forward, ready to thwart any attempt to escape, but flight was the last thing on her mind. One more step and he was within reach. She furtively glanced to the right and to the left. No one was currently in sight. The ninja closed her eyes and let her other senses guide her. She took a quick step to her left as if attempting to elude capture.

     The guard lunged toward her only to find her no longer there. Instead, she had slipped behind him. After unsheathing her chakram without a sound, she pushed him into the alcove as knocked him unconscious with the hilt of the weapon. She swiftly blew out the lantern, returning the area back to total darkness.

     She opened her eyes and moved the guard's body further into the shadows. She arranged his limbs so it would appear he was merely sleeping should anyone notice him. It was a risk, but hopefully no one would find him until she was long gone.

     In moments, Neriak reached her destination. There were soldiers patrolling outside the walls surrounding the Lunar Temple. She spotted a place on the perimeter wall where the shadows deepened from the tall building across the street. A glance to either side showed no sentinels currently around her. She jumped and caught the top of the wall with her paws. As she pulled herself to the top, she wished she dared use her wings instead, but the flapping echo in the still night might be heard; she didn't risk it; however, she did use her wings to glide silently down on the other side. Stopping against the building's wall, she used all her senses to identify the exact location of the two guards to her right; they were murmuring to each other near the main temple's entrance while they scanned the front area, looking for any intruders; the ninja crept left. There was another entrance on the far side that she knew was rarely used.

     Neriak reached the door safely. She removed some tools at her belt, then closed her eyes and, in seconds, picked the lock. She sneaked inside and closed the door quietly behind her. A large circular room greeted her with a massive moon dial reverently placed in the centre.

     Meditating her qi to enhance her sense of awareness, the shadow Shoyru meticulously searched the area. A soft sound, perhaps a snore, came from a room opposite from where she had entered. The moon dial blocked her view as she moved into the room and looked briefly at the walls surrounding her. Although she searched carefully, there was no one else nearby. But there, to her right, was the reason she had come. Hanging on a decorated panel within easy reach was the Lunar Tides Staff.

     Neriak took a moment to appreciate its magnificence and beauty. The glinting shaft, while uniquely made of perfectly crafted bamboo and tiny jewels, was of little matter. It was the top of the staff that brought her here. The headpiece to the staff was finely burnished gold in the shape of a crescent moon and wreathed with exquisite gems that shone even in the dimmest light. Between its two skyward-pointed tips was a filigree enneagram in perfect symmetry, studded with more jewels gathered for generations from all over Neopia.

     After another quick glance around her, Neriak took the staff down and callously removed its priceless headpiece. She gently laid the staff down on the floor, then took out a padded cloth from her pocket. She carefully wrapped the relic and placed it inside the inner pocket of her jacket. She smiled broadly, then turned and left as she came in.

     The closer the ninja got back to her flying ship, the more she relaxed. She had been told the staff of the Lunar Temple would be worth millions, and she looked forward to collecting her fee.

     A Darigan Kyrii paced impatiently as Neriak glided to the pier pad from the bridge above. He turned and advanced on Neriak as soon as she landed. "Did you get it?"

     She looked at him with derision. "Did you really doubt me, Daimar?" She stepped forward so the moonlight hit her face.

     Daimar removed a heavy bag of neopoints from his pocket. "Show me."

     Dropping her guard for a moment, Neriak pushed back a corner of the cloth covering the headpiece and showed it to him, then quickly stuffed it back into its wrappings. Holding it close to her body, she held out one hand for her payment. Daimar handed her the bag. She weighed it in her hand, then gave him the relic. Neriak turned and sauntered towards the pier pad where her ship was docked.

     "Nice doing business with you." Daimar called out as he slipped his treasure to lie between his shirt and his body. He climbed the steps to the bridge where he walked past two pets dressed entirely in black, waiting nearby. He gave them a quick nod, and they sprang into action.

     The Techo made a giant hop from out of the shadows to land in front of Neriak and block her path.

     "I'm not looking for a fight. Leave now and I'll let you live." Neriak drew her sword and crouched in readiness.

     "Give me the neopoints and I'll consider it." The Techo grumbled.

     "Not a chance." Neriak closed her eyes, took a deep breath, then reached out using iaido, the martial art of responding quickly to sudden attacks with one's sword. She felt the Techo lunge toward her and parried the blow. She cracked a smile as she stepped forward to deliver a giant sweep of her Void Blade. The Techo ducked beneath the stroke, then took a retreating step. "Sure you don't want to rethink this attack? Wha—"?" Neriak's paw clutched her side where she felt a sudden pain and a hot rush pouring out. "Don't you know you should never throw away your weapon? You might end up needing it," she mocked, her eyes still closed as she took a staggering step towards him.

     "I didn't." The Techo hopped back out of the reach of her Void Blade, which had the ability to blind its opponents with dark magic.

     Neriak was forced to take a stride forward only to feel yet another wound, this one on her thigh. She reeled and fought to keep from falling. Another strike and more pain penetrated both her sword hand and upper arm. Her sword clattered to the ground, her hand no longer able to grasp the hilt.

     Neriak drew her dagger with her off-hand and swung it around her like a shadowboxer. "How are you doing this?"

     "Open your eyes and find out," the Techo taunted.

     "NO!" Neriak spun wildly, trying to reach the Techo, only to have him jump out of range at the last moment. She was losing too much energy. Weakened, she lost her balance and collapsed to the ground. She fought to retain consciousness as she felt the dagger being taken from her paw. She opened her eyes slowly as she felt someone stealing her bag of neopoints. "No!" She shook her head, trying to clear her vision, but the forked tongue hovering over her face didn't disappear. "A Hissi?"

     "Of course," the Techo chuckled. "We knew you'd never open your eyes during a fight and your senses would never deign to recognize a Hissi without steel."

     "We?" she breathed.

     In answer, the Techo nodded above them toward the bridge. Neriak forced her eyes to focus and saw a Kyrii, no, not just a Kyrii, Daimar, and he was holding her headpiece. "You know, if it weren't for me telling you about that side entrance, you might never have had the chance to gaze upon this marvellous beauty. As I said, nice doing business with you." He saluted her, then turned and walked away, smiling.

     Noroe comforted himself with the knowledge that he had done exactly as he was told. The zombie Hissi could not see anything but darkness after being blinded by Neriak's Void Blade, nor could he hear anything from his exanimate ears. Daimar and the other henchmen strode off to board their flying ship, leaving the deaf and blind Noroe behind with Neriak's now unconscious body at the port.

     He was a drifter who had been looking for a new job. He was stuck on Scurvy Island when his last boss left him in the dust after completing the simple task of delivering a tiki bomb laced with sleeping gas. Earlier that day, he had been approached by the devious Kyrii. Never having been educated with manners, good sense, or even one book, the Hissi had always been easily manipulated by those seeking personal gain. He thought about the conversation he'd had with Daimar, feeling the pang of regret for the first time in his undead life . . . .

     "You look like you could use some neopoints, my friend." Daimar rested his paw on Noroe's shoulder, drawing his attention. "I could use someone strong like you to help me fight a terrible beast." As he waited for an answer, he soon realized the Hissi was using his wings to sign out a message. "So, you cannot hear what I am saying, yes?" Daimar shook his head and pointed to his own mouth.

     Noroe nodded, then pointed at the emblem on his jacket that denoted his membership to the malevolent crew, who followed Captain Scarblade. The zombie grunted a low growl and bared his fangs while flexing his wing muscles so as to say he's ready for whatever job the Kyrii has in store for him.

     "Ah, I see you have met one of my dear friends and long-time rivals, the captain of the seas with his little Bruce lackey alongside him, no doubt." Daimar used charades to impersonate the pirates for the Hissi to understand. "Hmm. So, you know what it's like to fight monsters. Very well!" Once again, Daimar raised his arms, this time to explain the task at hand. Through various gestures, the Kyrii let the Hissi know that the target would be a large, evil creature that must be brought down at any cost.

     Glaring at the Kyrii with glossy, virtually lifeless eyes, Noroe nodded once more. The Hissi passerby whom Daimar found treading alone on the beach then followed closely behind to board the flying ship. Noroe was the last passenger to embark and so the motley team set sail for Shenkuu.

     The End.