Week - 432 Phosphofructokinase Diaries by parody_ham

Description: Ever get the feeling you are missing something?

Week - 468 A Neopian's Guide to Destruct-o-Match III by parody_ham

Description: Are those pesky blocks starting to drive you crazy? This guide can help!

Week - 474 Phosphofructokinase Diaries: Faeriely Ironic by parody_ham

Description: What would have happened if the bottled faeries had turned to stone? Idea by black_skull725

Week - 476 An Essential Guide to Owning Darigan Petpets by parody_ham

Description: "The absolute most important thing you must remember when working with Darigan petpets is..."

Week - 490 Five Years Later by futuremrsharrypotter

Description: Who knew? Idea by parody_ham

Week - 516 Sharing The Quill by black_skull725

Description: Quoth the White Weewoo, "One Quill. Two Neopians. Three C's to consider! Also by parody_ham

Week - 531 Being Stylishly Evil: Customizing Darigan Pets by parody_ham

Description: Whoever knew customizing Darigan pets could be so easy?

Week - 556 Reflections from a Neopian Times Author by parody_ham

Description: Join me (and the White Weewoo crew) as we reflect on my journey as a Neopian writer!

Week - 565 The ENVI's Guide to Better Quality Villains by parody_ham

Description: The Evil Neopian Villain's Institute is now offering free evil genius lessons!

Week - 567 Dare to Scare: A Neopian Fashion Guide by parody_ham

Description: A guide to looking your finest during the spookiest time of year! Also by dr_tomoe

Week - 590 The Star of Paradise by parody_ham

Description: "Some call me a thief—and I am—but those who know me best call me 'The Star of Paradise'..."

Week - 607 Of Pirates and Pranks: Part One by parody_ham

Description: Sometimes, even the funniest pranks can go a bit too far...

Week - 608 Of Pirates and Pranks: Part Two by parody_ham

Description: By the time the duo made it to their cushioned seats, the game was already 1-0, Krawk Island in the lead. Vickles picked out the VIP section when he spotted many finely dressed Neopians...

Week - 609 Of Pirates and Pranks: Part Three by parody_ham

Description: "Well, guys, it looks like we'll be facing our greatest rivals today." The Gelert's ears flopped to the side, his face worn.

Week - 610 Of Pirates and Pranks: Part Four by parody_ham

Description: The second the whistle blew, both left forwards, Vickles and Hawkshanks, darted for the Yooyu. They both tried to scoop up the Petpet, but Hawkshanks made it first.

Week - 608 Chadley's Challenge by parody_ham

Description: He's so dreamy! *swoons*

Week - 614 Lisha's Lament by parody_ham

Description: Sometimes sacrifices are more than worth it to save the ones you love...

Week - 618 Enhancing Your Halloween with Super-SCIENCE! by parody_ham

Description: For SCIENCE! Co-written by my twin brother, homsar_eggplant

Week - 623 Plight of the Fallen by parody_ham

Description: On a day when two fortresses still claimed the Neopian skies, there came time for an urgent meeting. While mechanized gears chugged their solemn songs within the Citadel's boiler room, a council of twenty sat in a shuttered room near Darigan's private chambers.

Week - 625 A Shopper's Guide to Malevolent Merriment by parody_ham

Description: Brought to you by the Evil Neopian Villain's Institute: bringing holiday fear since year 14.

Week - 630 The Editor's Quill by parody_ham

Description: Editing is a difficult skill to master, but an important skill to have. Co-written and thumbnail by cosmicfire918

Week - 631 The Price of Premium by nativsis

Description: SPLAT! Also by parody_ham

Week - 634 Neopians Claim Oracle is Evil by parody_ham

Description: This morning, the oracle of the obelisk was sighted doing "something suspicious." Also by homsar_eggplant

Week - 643 Caught Between Kingdoms: Part One by parody_ham

Description: The longest war ever known in the citadel's history had finished three years prior. Since then, apparent peace had been made between the warring factions, Darigan Citadel and the far away kingdom of Meridell.

Week - 644 Caught Between Kingdoms: Part Two by parody_ham

Description: "Ugh," he muttered in a high, squeaky voice that resembled the incessant meowing of "Scruffles," a Darigan Angelpuss that frequented the Lord's chambers.

Week - 645 Caught Between Kingdoms: Part Three by parody_ham

Description: For the slightest inkling of a moment, Setarian almost felt sorry for those Meridellians. The rumbling of his stomach seemed to agree with his pity; now, he also suffered.

Week - 646 Caught Between Kingdoms: Part Four by parody_ham

Description: Hours of non-stop traveling took quite a toll on Setarian. Still, rest no longer seemed like a priority, only survival.

Week - 647 Caught Between Kingdoms: Part Five by parody_ham

Description: "No, I'm not," the child called Setarian shouted, "and you'll see. One day, I'll be in the army. Then we'll see who's trash."

Week - 648 Caught Between Kingdoms: Part Six by parody_ham

Description: "Jeran told me that no Meridellian would claim you as their kid and... it made me sad. No one should be alone, Serian..."

Week - 649 Caught Between Kingdoms: Part Seven by parody_ham

Description: Setarian spun away at the last second and held the sword as he normally would have: "Too high." With all the force he could muster, the former Darigan swatted away Jeran's sword.

Week - 650 Caught Between Kingdoms: Part Eight by parody_ham

Description: "Of all the situations I've trained for, nothing could prepare me for this." The knight's voice quivered. "And yet..."

Week - 652 Caught Between Kingdoms: Part Nine by parody_ham

Description: Skarl bared his teeth, but Setarian continued to shout. "He was right all along. You are nothing but a hateful tyrant!"

Week - 653 Caught Between Kingdoms: Part Ten by parody_ham

Description: "Don't change topics on me, Setarian. I know what you are doing." Hearing his real name seemed almost unnatural. It took a few seconds to regain his composure.

Week - 655 Caught Between Kingdoms: Part Eleven by parody_ham

Description: A gust of wind pushed up on his wings, sudden and fierce. It kept him from crashing into the gardens below, but just barely.

Week - 656 Caught Between Kingdoms: Part Twelve by parody_ham

Description: "Kass!" he shouted, barrel rolling away from a projectile. "Face me. Face me, you coward!"

Week - 651 Mud Coffee by goron0000

Description: We do this every day. It's getting expensive. Idea by parody_ham

Week - 654 It Takes a Hero by parody_ham

Description: On a quiet, ordinary summer's day, a white Usul sat crossed-legged at the library's circulation desk...

Week - 657 Dear Lisha by parody_ham

Description: "It's our little secret! Isn't that fun?"

Week - 664 Caught Between Kingdoms: The Aftermath by parody_ham

Description: Almost a month had passed since the day Meridell was attacked by Lord Kass. Even now, most of the fair city lay in ruins...

Week - 667 Halloween Woes by parody_ham

Description: This needs to stop happening every year... Illustrated by brenda_bbm

Week - 668 How to Survive the Brightvale University Dining Hall by parody_ham

Description: Before you pick up those (very heavy) textbooks, there is something you should know: beware the dining hall.

Week - 669 Off-Season Life: Day Jobs by fhujmasterofhedgehog

Description: Here's your ice cream. Written by parody_ham

Week - 670 Neopian Public Speaking 101 by parody_ham

Description: The most important thing is to believe in yourself. No one in the room is going to know the material better than you do.

Week - 674 The Perfect Gift by fhujmasterofhedgehog

Description: Sometimes the perfect gift isn't what it seems. Written by parody_ham

Week - 676 Heroes from the Other Side: Part One by parody_ham

Description: "How is the king, Sir Pendleton?" "Not well, Lord Kass. I daresay he has been captured."

Week - 677 Heroes from the Other Side: Part Two by parody_ham

Description: "Kanrik, is that you? Why do you stealth from the greatest heroes this Neopia has ever known?"

Week - 688 Interview with The Cup Player by parody_ham

Description: It’s Altador Cup time in Neopia! For the thousands of fans who attend, this month is the best part of the year. But what do our players think of the fanbase? I, Haibara, have set out to interview players from each team and ask their opinions.

Week - 690 Just Like Old Times by parody_ham

Description: The Neopian Times is far more than just a newspaper!

Week - 693 Phosphofructokinase Diaries: Inspiration by parody_ham

Description: Feeling inspired?

Week - 699 Turning Pages: Part One by warriorsrock965

Description: The figure, cloaked in a fine black suit, wriggled his nose slightly while pushing the golden-rimmed monocle higher against his brow. Red ribbon lined the brim of his top hat and a cane rest snugly against his short, stubby, pink paws. Also by parody_ham

Week - 700 Turning Pages: Part Two by warriorsrock965

Description: A collective of sounds echoed about the room. Such a chorus of ‘ahs’ could only be compared to the pure delight of watching a rocket blast off to Kreludor for the very first time. A few of them even brushed their hands over the machine, taking note of its polished surface and pristine metal keys. Also by parody_ham

Week - 701 Turning Pages: Part Three by warriorsrock965

Description: “I a-assure you, g-good lady, your daughter is ab-absolutely fine.” Sir Alberts continuously pulled at his collar, causing it to wrinkle. He was shaking, not necessarily because of fear, but because of the quaking of a much larger Krawk above him. Each pounding step sent shockwaves rumbling from beneath his feet. Also by parody_ham

Week - 702 Turning Pages: Part Four by warriorsrock965

Description: “Danger?!” Genevieve grabbed Alberts by the collar, dangling him in midair. The Meepit struggled furiously, squirming silently in her grasp. Only when a Lupe wearing black spats—one of the few from the tour group that remained—grasped her arm did the tour guide fall to the ground. Also by parody_ham

Week - 703 Turning Pages: Part Five by warriorsrock965

Description: Stephanie woke slowly, blinking her eyes to adjust to the near darkness surrounding her. Where am I? Her head ached as she took in the sight. It was a large empty, field. Everything else was gone. How did I get here? Also by parody_ham

Week - 704 Turning Pages: Part Six by warriorsrock965

Description: Stephanie backed away from Magis Magister, tightening her grip on Sir Alberts. “What do you mean the story was already written?” Also by parody_ham

Week - 715 Conspiracy Files of Brightvale University #1 by parody_ham

Description: Trust no one.

Week - 718 Scientific Highlights: The Crokabek by parody_ham

Description: Little is known about a majority of the Petpet species living in Neopia. For some, such as the Crokabek, this knowledge gap is particularly large. What is considered common knowledge in terms of their biology, including that of their disease vector status is, at best, a partial truth.

Week - 719 Happy UN-Valentine's Day by chasing_stars44

Description: For all you grumps out there! You know who you are! Also by parody_ham

Week - 720 Beauty Contest Blues by waterbird333

Description: "Um... I think the Beauty Contest avatar was released." Also by parody_ham

Week - 721 Hard Working by petpet_92_24

Description: Or hardly working? Also by parody_ham

Week - 722 Eclectic Antics: Winter by amarettoball

Description: We all have that one friend. Also by parody_ham

Week - 723 Eclectic Antics: Illusen's Marketing by amarettoball

Description: Being tiny is an everyday struggle. Also by parody_ham

Week - 726 Wraithland is Misunderstood: Entering Aiopen by parody_ham

Description: You won't believe what we saw in Wraithland... Also by homsar_eggplant.

Week - 729 Eclectic Antics: Lever of Doom by amarettoball

Description: Avatar collectors are not mad. Okay, maybe a little. Also by parody_ham

Week - 737 Sunny Side Up: Team Spirit by amarettoball

Description: The AC commentators have surprisingly poor observational skills. Also by parody_ham

Week - 738 The Long Road by parody_ham

Description: My family screamed for me when President Evergreen called my name: Melody Harvester.

Week - 740 Once Upon a Memory by parody_ham

Description: It all seems like such a long time ago—ironic, really, given that we live hundreds of years in the past now.

Week - 752 Make Your Own Undead Army with F.V. Shmoobenduffle! by parody_ham

Description: In this guide, you too can learn the essentials of ruling your own army of the awakened dead. Also by homsar_eggplant.

Week - 753 Artful Interviews with F.V. Shmoobenduffle by parody_ham

Description: You came back, I knew you would. Also by my delightfully weird twin brother, homsar_eggplant.

Week - 757 Of Feathers and Quills: A Review of Weewoo Behavior by parody_ham

Description: Weewoos are fascinating creatures, and the subject of rigorous scientific study.

Week - 772 Dear Sally by parody_ham

Description: How do I even begin to write to her after all these years? What would she even think of me?

Week - 775 Sunny Side Up: Defenders of Neopia 3 by amarettoball

Description: Give 'im the old one-two! Also by parody_ham

Week - 794 The Art of Bird Watching by parody_ham

Description: Boredom is rarely an issue once you have a pair of binoculars around your neck.

Week - 819 Celebrating Spring Break at Brightvale University by parody_ham

Description: Spring break is just around the corner. Here's a few ways you can celebrate the occasion near BVU!

Week - 837 Science with the Seekers: The Magic of Motes by parody_ham

Description: Mote magic is unlike anything else in Neopia... Also by amarettoball

Week - 857 For Justice! A Guide to Heroic Sidekicks -For Collab by parody_ham

Description: Hello there, Neopian Times readership of JUSTICE! Have you come to this article hoping to learn about SIDEKICKS? You have? Strap yourself in, young heroes, and bring lots of snacks, because you’re in for a barrage of nonstop action.

Week - 861 The Coconut: Introducing a New Mascot by parody_ham

Description: GOOD NIGHT, mr. coconut

Week - 875 Harmony's Melody by parody_ham

Description: She placed her right paw upon her heart. “I have a will of iron. Nothing can deter me.

Week - 876 Surprising Revelations by jesillu

Description: Surprise! It's Trudy! (Story by Parody_Ham)

Week - 895 Writing a Gothic Story: Just Add Monocles! by june_scarlet

Description: This daring duo will teach you all the ways to write the best gothic story.in collaboration with parody_ham

Week - 896 A Royal Send Off: Fyora's Bucket List by parody_ham

Description: With Queen Fyora's sudden announcement of her retirement, one has to wonder how she would fill the voids in her day that were previously dominated by government and royal functions. In collaboration with Black_Skull725.

Week - 905 Basic Potion Brewing by parody_ham

Description: Making potions takes practice, insatiable curiosity, love, and a little luck.

Week - 913 A Hero's Ballad by parody_ham

Description: Four battle-weary heroes set up camp for the night in the Haunted Woods...

Week - 914 A Hero's Ballad by parody_ham

Description: This week, our group of weary travellers must escape the dangers of the Haunted Woods!

Week - 916 A Hero's Ballad by parody_ham

Description: A nerve wracked Rohane must face his fears singing at The Shady Sepulcher Inn...

Week - 917 A Hero's Ballad by parody_ham

Description: The thrilling conclusion to A Hero's Ballad!

Week - 915 Passable Gross Foods of Brightvale University by parody_ham

Description: Sponsored by the Cosmic Corp Gross Food Company

Week - 917 The Neopian Times Series Spotlight — A Hero's Ballad by the__reporter

Description: This week we explore the exciting "A Heroes Ballad" series! collab with parody_ham

Week - 918 The Ghost Story Challenge by parody_ham

Description: “Egads, it lives!” Also by homsar_eggplant

Week - 919 Kreludor Comedy Club by elipsis4k

Description: Some very punny space comedy! Collab with parody_ham

Week - 920 Caught Between Surprises by parody_ham

Description: Kayla and Lisha plan a surprise birthday party for Serian’s birthday!

Week - 921 An Altador Cup in Review by parody_ham

Description: Looking back on this year’s Altador Cup! Collab with rodel_27phoenix

Week - 922 Failing Foods of Brightvale University by parody_ham

Description: When in doubt, don't eat it.

Week - 923 The Holiday Letters by parody_ham

Description: College roomates Kate and Melody keep in contact during the holiday as penpals!

Week - 924 It Snow Joke! by elipsis4k

Description: How's it snowin'? Collab with parody_ham

Week - 925 Trouble in Paradise by parody_ham

Description: “Cheers to a long-awaited vacation!”

Week - 927 Trouble in Paradise by parody_ham

Description: Mipsy and Velm strike a deal with the Temple Monster and set out after the thief!

Week - 928 Trouble in Paradise by parody_ham

Description: Drew pushes his luck, as well as Mipsy and Velm, to their limits.

Week - 929 Trouble in Paradise by parody_ham

Description: Drew leads Mipsy and Velm through the treacherous temple traps.

Week - 930 Trouble in Paradise by parody_ham

Description: Will Velm and Mipsy be able to survive their showdown with Carissa?

Week - 931 Trouble in Paradise by parody_ham

Description: The thrilling conclusion to Trouble in Paradise!

Week - 926 This Play Went off Without a Hitch by parody_ham

Description: Welcome to a behind-the-scenes look at Neopia’s newest play: The Fall, a dramatic retelling of the times before, during, and after Faerieland fell.

Week - 932 The Chet Files by parody_ham

Description: As of now, none of the details are agreed upon. But what we do know for sure is that he “wuz here.”

Week - 933 Kad Got Your Toungue? by parody_ham

Description: It's Kadurday! Collab with elipsis4k

Week - 934 Merry in Meridell and the Citadel Scene by parody_ham

Description: Darigan Citadel and Meridell are both fantastic places to visit. Co-written by zed16

Week - 935 NQII Many Puns by parody_ham

Description: And heal keep making puns, too. Collab with javascripter

Week - 936 Dreaming of Riches by parody_ham

Description: The Super Attack Pea is too powerful for mere dreams to contain. Collab with rikuji_kioku

Week - 937 The Faerigan Altador Cup Special by parody_ham

Description: As everyone is gearing up for the Altador Cup, even Neopia’s famous leaders are ready to cheer on their teams...

Week - 938 A Hero's Ballad: The Marrow by parody_ham

Description: Rohane finds himself in a dingy tavern known as The Mangled Marrow...

Week - 940 A Hero's Ballad: The Knightmare by parody_ham

Description: “I swear it was an accident,” Kayla began again, her voice shaking, “I didn’t mean to trap Rohane in a dream!”

Week - 941 A Hero's Ballad: The Knightmare by parody_ham

Description: The plains of Meridell quickly morphed into vine-covered ground as the trees surrounding him grew deformed and menacing...

Week - 942 A Hero's Ballad: The Knightmare by parody_ham

Description: Kayla, Lisha, and Serian do their best to stave off Jeran's hypothermia while he searches for Rohane.

Week - 945 A Hero's Ballad: The Knightmare by parody_ham

Description: With Lifira’s guiding hoof, the journey became much easier...

Week - 944 A Hero's Ballad: The Knightmare by parody_ham

Description: Jeran pushes on through the bizarre Dream world!

Week - 946 A Hero's Ballad: The Knightmare by parody_ham

Description: Upon entering into the dark hole in the sky, Jeran was instantly hit with the overwhelming, echoing cries of a child...

Week - 947 A Hero's Ballad: The Knightmare (For Surreal) by parody_ham

Description: Kayla, Lisha, Danner, and Serian give it their all to save Jeran and Rohane from being trapped in the Blumaroo's dream!

Week - 948 A Hero's Ballad: The Knightmare by parody_ham

Description: When the two knights walked closer to the specter of Rohane’s father, the middle-aged knight stood up to meet them both...

Week - 949 A Hero's Ballad: The Knightmare by parody_ham

Description: The penultimate chapter of A Hero's Ballad: The Knightmare!

Week - 950 A Hero's Ballad: The Knightmare by parody_ham

Description: The thrilling conclusion to A Hero's Ballad: The Knightmare!

Week - 943 Mutant Complexity in Meridellian Weewoos by parody_ham

Description: Read on for a summary of known research on mutant Weewoo physical traits, life history, diet, and song structure. Knowledge of this sub-species is limited and warrants further research.

Week - 951 Holiday Cheer in the Citadel by parody_ham

Description: In the Darigan Citadel, there is holiday cheer, just as there would be throughout the rest of Neopia... Collab with 4mandy4

Week - 952 When Worlds Collide by parody_ham

Description: It's a battle between ninjakin and piratefolk, and Dylan the Krawk is thrown right in the middle of the fight.

Week - 953 Caught Between Kingdoms: Letters by parody_ham

Description: Letters reveal memories nearly forgotten.

Week - 954 A Creative Valentine's Day by parody_ham

Description: Celebrate your favorite artist with these creative Valentine ideas. collab with 4mandy4

Week - 955 A Hero's Ballad: Norbert by parody_ham

Description: “Is that Sir Rohane’s autograph?!”

Week - 956 Growing Greener by parody_ham

Description: "It's possible to make the change for a greener, more environmentally friendly yard, and the rewards for doing so are great for both wildlife as well as for your family and friends."

Week - 957 Valenristmaween by parody_ham

Description: What is Valenristmaween, you may ask? A wonderful question!

Week - 958 Caught Between Kingdoms: Saying Goodbye by parody_ham

Description: “Every nation, Meridell and Darigan Citadel included, has good and evil. In between, there is grey..."

Week - 959 The Tri-National Summit by parody_ham

Description: "It was a quiet day in Meridell. Too quiet."

Week - 962 Dear Old Friend by parody_ham

Description: "We missed you at the International Charity Ball last night. Galgorroth told me that you weren’t feeling well; he said you respectfully declined the invitation but wanted to come."

Week - 963 Watching Petals by parody_ham

Description: "Carpets of mountain pinks fringed the pathway of the Meridell Botanical Garden. Lush magnolias, cherry blossoms, and flowering pear trees covered the lawn. Pastel tulips numbering in the thousands spread into the distance. Everywhere, Spingabees and Beekadoodles flit this way and that, happily harvesting nectar from each bloom."

Week - 965 Ruby Road by parody_ham

Description: "There were few things Rohane desired more than a quiet weekend. Time to unwind. Eat a wonderful, home-cooked meal. Play with his little nephew. Relax."

Week - 970 White River Crossing by parody_ham

Description: Rohane clutched his aching side. It wasn’t much farther now. Soon, he would find an inn in White River City, rest, and buy the potions that he sorely needed. On the edge of his vision...

Week - 972 Rubble and Memories by parody_ham

Description: "A letter came, as they often did, in the beak of a Weewoo. But this one was different..."Thumbnail made by twillieblossom

Week - 973 Birthday Truce by parody_ham

Description: "When the sun rises over Meridell, you never know what the day will bring. This is especially the case when you’re a Darigan Eyrie..."

Week - 974 Darkness Meets Light by parody_ham

Description: "A sharp, sweet smell surrounded me as I made my way through rows of perfectly spaced fir trees. There was a recent snowfall and in the early light, the trees glittered like crystalline ornaments..."

Week - 975 Panacea by parody_ham

Description: "Velm let out a contented sigh as he finished the last sentence of his newest work..."

Week - 976 Taking Flight by parody_ham

Description: "When Mitchell 'Cookie' Laysan left Wisdom behind to operate the lighthouse, she was heartbroken..."

Week - 977 A Day to Remember by parody_ham

Description: "It was a typical Thursday. Wake up. Put on clean clothes from the laundry basket..."

Week - 979 The Ecology of Neopia by parody_ham

Description: "The land of Neopia is vast and wondrous, with countless mysteries waiting to be solved and incredible discoveries happening every day. Welcome to another edition of “Science with the Seekers,” where scientists from around Neopia share their expertise with the world."

Week - 980 Time Slip by parody_ham

Description: "Pouring rain pelted the roof of Kayla’s potion shop as a roar of thunder boomed outside..."

Week - 982 From Kass' Right Hand: The Early Days by parody_ham

Description: "Growing up, we knew him as Uncle Kass. He was always kind to us as children..."

Week - 983 Call Me Serian by parody_ham

Description: "The day I changed my name, I remember it well..."

Week - 985 Neopian Water Wonders by parody_ham

Description: "Happy Petpet Day! Let’s take a deep dive into the fascinating world of the pets of our Petpets"

Week - 986 From Kass' Right Hand: the Dark Days by parody_ham

Description: Change did not come without its challenges... Thumbnail Image made by chantili_doce

Week - 987 Sibling Summit by parody_ham

Description: "Jeran watched the carriage clatter along the cobbled road until it disappeared over the horizon. As the last vestige of it disappeared..."

Week - 990 Darigan's Lily by parody_ham

Description: "When I fled from Kass’ tyranny, I had but one regret: I would never see my family again. Even if we had our differences, our clashes, I would miss my brother and sister, their children, and my bedridden mother..."

Week - 990 Notable Neopians: Carolyn (parody_ham) by greykadoatie

Description: Hello and welcome to Notable Neopians! I’m greykadoatie and in this issue we are shining the spotlight on one of Neopia’s most talented creators: Carolyn (parody_ham) who was first published way back in Issue 432.

Week - 993 Butterfly Effect by parody_ham

Description: A beautiful spring day beckoned the Borodere siblings as they enjoyed a weekend away from responsibilities and duties.