10 Uses for Bananas Besides a Banana Split

     Here are ten uses for bananas that may have slipped your mind! And in the worst case, then it’s time for a dozen or so ice cream sundaes and banana bread for the entire town!

     1. Tropical skirt

     Don’t let the Island Mystic be the only fashion-forward Neopian on the beach. Be all the rage when you vacation on the Mystery Island! A few well-placed bananas tied to an elastic band can make a fetching skirt. If you’re Skeith-sized, it may take a few more, but you’ll look and smell amazing!

     I suggest using unripe bananas for a fetching green colour. But if browns are more your colour, then let each banana ripen on the counter for several days. Be careful, as the banana peels will also get softer over time. This can lead to some very embarrassing scenarios if you aren’t careful. We don’t want to call the fashion police.

     Don’t be alarmed if someone snacks on your skirt though. (How rude!)

     2. Boomerang

     To be totally fair, getting a boomerang to come back to you is a conspiracy theory. Have you ever seen it happen? No? Me neither. So, using a banana as a boomerang is just as useless and just as likely to come back to you.

     I never said these would be good uses for a banana, did I? The great news is that if the banana does come back, you can take your newfound skills to the Battledome and be a real contender.

     3. Rain boots

     Only pets used to splashing about in the water enjoy getting their feet wet. (Or, they don’t even have feet to know how unpleasant the feeling is. Never thought I would be jealous of a Kiko, but there’s a first time for everything.) Luckily, bananas come in all sorts of sizes and lengths, so everyone’s feet can find their perfect pair!

     Pair, I said. Not pear. This is about bananas, not pears!

     Ahem. Like I said, anyone can slip on their banana shoes and be perfectly waterproof on a rainy day. So don’t be afraid when the weather report says nothing but rain for the next week, and embrace it! Take a trip to Kiko lake and get splashing, just be sure to watch your new shoes with a rubber waterproof coat too, and an umbrella. Or else you’ll only be dry from your ankles down.

     4. Sunscreen

     For our furless friends, sunscreen is important! Ever see a Techo with sunburn? (At least they’re used to shedding their skin.) Believe it or not, bananas mashed up can make a great sunscreen. Slather it on generously and hit the beach. A few flies might land on you too, but at least you’ll be protected from the harsh rays.

     Don’t forget to reapply after swimming! As if you need an excuse to eat another banana, though. (Unless you’re allergic. In that case, I highly recommend leaving the article now, as the banana antics will only continue from here.)

     5. Mootix car

     Can Petpetpets get a drivers license? Hmm, well, either way, if your Meepit’s little friend wants to hit the road, he doesn’t have a lot of options. A tiny little Mootix can’t exactly reach the brakes in Nigel the Chia’s car. Get creative, take an old banana peel, and attach some wheels. Before you know it, they’ll be on the road.

     The upside is that a banana car has zero emissions. Talk about organic.

     6. Mynci hypnotizer

     No pet loves bananas more than the Mynci does. And if you need to convince one of your Mynci friends something, maybe it’s time to use a little outside force. A banana swung from side to side with a gentle repetition of, “You’re getting sleepy, so very sleepy!” might just do the trick.

     EDITOR’S NOTE: DO NOT HYPNOTIZE YOUR FRIENDS! The Neopian Times takes no responsibility for what may happen. We are not liable for any legal damages the affected party may take.

     7. A very squishy sword

     Maybe the only opponent that will quake in terror at seeing a banana sword is Punchbag Bob. However, when working out, you really need to make sure you get enough potassium. In between fighting Jetsam Ace and training at the pirate cove, you can keep a spare banana in your arsenal. I recommend a more firm, green banana, or else your opponent will feel nothing but a dull, moist, squish.

     (Actually, that sounds very uncomfortable. I’d concede defeat!)

     8. Jitters cure

     Uh-oh. Did you land on an unlucky space on the Wheel of Excitement and come down a case of the Jitters? Jitters can cause you to lose control, run around tirelessly for hours, and jump about until all four legs are tired.

     We all know the Neopian pharmacy likes to charge an arm, leg, and tail for cures. (Um, hello, Neopian government? Are you reading my economic political column too?) But have you tried a homoeopathic cure? A well-placed banana peel on a slippery floor will cure your Jitters in no time! Just be sure to not break a bone and try to land on the cushiony side of your rear end.

     9. CD cleaner

     Kids, ask your parents what a CD is. (Or are they cool again? Is this part of Y2K fashion?)

     While we all get our favourite tunes from Twisted Roses on streaming, we used to buy old CDs. The only downside was that after some careless late nights, your CDs could get pretty scratched up and dirty, rendering your favourite song nearly unplayable. But did you know that rubbing a banana peel across a scratched CD can help fix it?>No? Well it doesn’t, actually! I’ve tried this and all it did was ruin my favourite Jazzmosis album! Every other advice column lied!

     10. Why toss the peel?

     Squreen the Alien Aisha asked to write this next section.

     Hold on, are you sure about that?

     “Just eat the peel.”

     That’s what he’s saying. You know how aliens and their gross food are. Who am I to judge?