WATN: The Janitor, in Central Chamber, with a Banana

     We recently caught up with the esteemed janitor of the Hall of Heroes to get an inside look at his daily life! A Yurble of many talents, seen the globe over as a foreman and chef, this seasoned Neopet is currently using his talents to keep the famed Hall of Heroes spick and span. He has a very busy schedule so we were lucky enough to catch him during one of his slower days.

     As soon as we entered the hallowed halls we could hear the muttering and deranged screaming from down the corridor. We followed the wails and broken broom handles and soon came across the scene of the Janitor reprimanding a native Altadorian for dropping their Altador Dog, with banana, and Flask of Olive Oil all over the main hall’s floor. We questioned the young Altadorian after the fact, and they revealed to us it was their first time entering the hall and they were awestruck by the grand statues of the land’s heroes. So much so they let their food slip from their grasp and splatter to the floor.

     Using the charisma crafted through years of independent journalism, we swiftly inserted ourselves between the pair and diffused the situation with a quick introduction to the Janitor and an offering of aid to help clean the hall. Remember readers, always make a good first impression!

     Mr. Janitor (as we will refer to him going forward) thanked us, gave a quick glare to the young Altador denizen, and walked us through the halls to his office. A quant closet tucked beneath a large set of marble stairs, everything was compact. Not a file or piece of equipment was out of place. There was a meticulous attention to detail on display, even the banana peel in the trash can was folded closed.

     “It’s a charmin’ lil’ spot I got here, but I got no room to spare for anythin’ unnecessary,” he said. “Fits me perfectly!”

     Inquiring minds want to know what it’s like to juggle so many different professions that don’t necessarily overlap in terms of skills, qualifications, pay, or literally anything?

     “A real Jack of All Trades doesn’t need to put themselves into one neat little shell. I got the skills to do anything I fancy, so why not do what I want when I feel like it?” Mr. Janitor puffed his chest out with pride speaking to this question.

     “Also helps that I can hop to a job that don’t require no references…”

     It was barely audible dear readers, but we did manage to get that quote straight from the Yurble’s mouth.

     We continued to follow Mr. Janitor through his daily routine of cleaning and raging, with snack times intermingled in between. During the lunch break we separated from Mr. Janitor to interview King Altador in the Council Chamber.

     Many want to know how you wound up hiring the esteemed janitor who seems to have a large resume of unconventional jobs.

     “It’s a matter of fact we would hire someone who has a wide variety of skills and has proven themselves to be very adaptive to any environment they are thrown into.” King Altador stated.

     He elaborated that Mr. Janitor’s willingness to take on odd jobs makes him very desirable for jobs that, on the surface, seem very mundane or even unfulfilling, is one of his strongest traits.

     “I would also like to know how you happened to get into this chamber? Considering it’s only accessible to members.”

     Mr. Janitor just so happened to show us the secret access hallway to the chamber in a moment that some would refer to as “showing off”. We even received a tour and complimentary photograph on King Altador’s seat courtesy of Mr. Janitor while the council members were out.

     After thanking King Altador, and returning to Mr. Janitor’s closet, we once again followed him through his administrative duties of tallying up the cleaning products he used, sections that were cleaned, the brooms that were broken, etc. These metrics are apparently used to help calculate his monthly budget and allowed expenses for each month.

     “This really helps me figure out what areas need more cleaning, trends in foot traffic, how much I can use for cleaning, and how much I can spend on bananas.” Mr. Janitor said.

     As the day concluded, with the sun setting below the Altadorian Sea, Mr. Janitor escorted us to the entrance, as he chowed down on his favourite banana.

     “You folks were some right good company today,” he told us, “make sure you tell everyone out there that this old Yurble doesn’t let any speck of dirt out his sight!” He exclaimed as he scarfed down a banana and tossed the peel behind him.

     What a coincidence it was that he did that at that very moment, because King Altador was leaving the hall as well and just so happened to step on the banana peel. His leg swept out from under him as his entire body flipped, and he landed square on his back.

     Emergency services arrived shortly. Unfortunately due King Altador’s being high-profile, we were escorted away from the scene by emergency services as they rushed him to the hospital and Mr. Janitor was questioned by police.

     We did not get to say a proper farewell to Mr. Janitor but that did not stop us from getting our ending to this story! Several days later we followed up with King Altador about the whereabouts of Mr. Janitor. Mr. Janitor was fired shortly after due to criminal negligence, littering, and embezzlement. We would also discover that Mr. Janitor underreported the amount of brooms that were broken each day, and overstated the amount of cleaning products he used in order to have more funds to buy bananas. On top of his annual salary, the amount of Neopoints spent on buying brooms meant the Hall of Heroes was spending four times the amount per month on their cleaning costs than they did before hiring Mr. Janitor.

     Please, dear readers, if you take anything away from this story, let it be this: Eat bananas in moderation.

     We will see you in our next instalment of “Where Are They Now”!