Don't Ban Hannah

      A narrow bridge ran from the platform she stood on to the column at the centre of the cave, on which the artefact rested, all according to plan. The coast was clear. The Kougra went for it.

      "Captain! Have your arm muscles finally burst through your sleeves?"

      Brynn jumped and froze in her tracks. Over her head, a fluffy, puffy light brown tail hung from a rock ledge. Brynn recognised that dark green skirt. She backed off from the ledge, facing the intruder.

      "I wasn't expecting you, Hannah." Brynn glanced at the old tunic she was wearing for this expedition. "I did tear my sleeves to survive this heat. And I wasn't your captain, last I checked."

      The famous adventurer skipped down from rock to rock until she was level with Brynn again. "It's a well-deserved title, I might as well acknowledge it!"

      Brynn smiled back at her. "I would be happy to return the favour, but last I heard, you had no ship of your own..."

      Hannah leaned in. "If I had a ship, would you get on it?"

      "Er... maybe?" Brynn's eyes flicked left and right, scanning the darker corners of the cave.

      The Usul pouted. "You don't seem happy to see me. Were you hoping for someone else?"

      "I was just wondering if, you know, your blue guy would be involved."

      Hannah laughed. "Funny! I was wondering where your blue guy might be this time."

      "No Hanso with me today. This is a solo mission."

      "Admitting that you came alone? How bold! I'm pleased to inform you that I am also currently free of any blue guys," purred Hannah.

      Brynn's eyes did not miss how the Usul's casual strolling was bringing her closer to the narrow bridge. She took a broad step, swiftly catching up with Hannah. "I should not be surprised to see you take interest in this artefact," she said. "You are a legendary explorer, and this artefact has no cultural ties to the local population, but was hidden away by a sorcerer who once attempted to oppress them..."

      "Indeed it was, Brynn!" Hannah nodded, sidestepping her. "I had researched it carefully myself, but it is always good to hear your sources confirmed."

      "I can only agree," said Brynn, picking up the pace. "I will be sure to note your approval when I deliver it to Faerieland."

      "How nice of you to pick it up for me," said Hannah, now speed-walking by her side. "But there is no need to go that far."

      Brynn's hand closed around Hannah's arm with an iron grip. Hannah's hand clutched the Kougra's.

      "It's nothing personal, Hannah," said Brynn, twirling under Hannah's arm to keep her grip on the twisting Usul. "I just need to retrieve one more artefact this month to raise my score by one. I just need to outperform... -"

      Hannah followed her motion and was pulled back against Brynn, their arms twined around her waist, looking at her over her shoulder. "- your second favourite dashing rogue whose name begins with 'Han'."

      The Kougra blinked. "What?"

      "What?"

      Hannah threw her weight forward, wrenching Brynn off the ground and over her shoulder. The Kougra rolled with it, spinning to pin Hannah to the ground.

      "Really, Hanso's and my score are even for this month. It took a lot of work to get here without him knowing. All I need is to retrieve this one artefact to outdo him and be employee of the month. And the Faerieland Castle employee of the month gets..."

      Hannah's eyes lit up as she crawled out from under the heavier Brynn. "... the free spa day in Queen Fyora's private spa."

      "Yes, the free spa day," said Brynn, scrambling after her and yanking the back of her shirt. "I need it so, so badly, Hannah. Look into my eyes."

      "What eyes, Brynn?" said Hannah, half-climbing over her. "I see only bags."

      "Exactly."

      Hannah made another bid for the narrow bridge, but was shoved and squashed back by the panting Kougra, again.

      "You know, when people talk about you, they really forget to mention that you are as wily as any true Krawk Islander. This isn't working out, Hannah. We could be at it for hours. Let's settle this with a proper duel."

      "A duel?" Hannah blinked, pretending to be flustered. "Oh, Brynn! You haven't even treated me to dinner yet."

      "I don't cook, but Hanso is making lasagna for tonight. You should come over."

      "Lasagna? I'd love to! That's settled, then. We can duel."

      They let go of each other. Hannah patted down her skirt and tidied up her long brown hair.

      "Don't forget the rules, Captain! You love rules, don't you?"

      Brynn nodded brightly, stretching her legs from side to side to warm up. "Golly, I sure do love myself a good rule, Hannah."

      The Usul smirked, tilting her head thoughtfully. "According to the rules of proper duelling, the person being challenged to a duel gets to choose the weapon that will be used for said duel. Correct, Captain?"

      "Completely correct, Hannah."

      There was a pause as the Usul went through her pockets. Brynn eyed her warily.

      "Then the weapon I choose is bananas." Hannah produced a banana. Brynn watched her twirl the smooth yellow crescent dexterously in her fingers. "Can you handle it, Kougra?"

      "Of course, I can handle it." Brynn drew one of her own bananas out of her banana holder.

      With each adventurer holding her fruit at the ready, they bowed and walked twenty paces apart.

      Hannah shot first. Her banana was squeezed out of its peel and flew straight at Brynn, who moved just in time. The fruit grazed past her hair, leaving a mere sticky trace.

      Brynn attacked with unpeeled fruit. Two of them whizzed at Hannah, spinning through the air. She had to duck and roll and raise her own bananas to fend off Brynn, who had run right at her. Their fruit rammed into each other, caught in their peels' curvature, and were soon bruised by the battle.

      "You're doing so well!" Brynn said with a smile.

      "You too!" said Hannah. "It's a pity things have to get more heated."

      She spilled cups of scalding liquid over Brynn's legs, forcing the Kougra to leap back.

      "Hot Banana Soup!"

      "I would say I'm sorry, but that would be a lie."

      "That's quite all right, I have just the thing to cool it down."

      Hannah spun round to see Brynn apply lumps of snow where the soup had splashed over her. "Snow Bananas! How clever. But too slow."

      She waved goodbye to Brynn as she stepped over two banana peels and began to slide right across the bridge. The Kougra let out a growl and dashed after her, but her athletic sprint was no match for the bananas' incredible slipperiness. Hannah was already stretching her arm, reaching for the artefact.

      She bounced. She saw the cavern tilt as if in slow motion, the rocky platform, the banana peels no longer stuck to her shoes, the water, the artefact, and the strapping Kougra knight. Hannah slammed back down. In front of her nose, she saw what she had tripped over: a jelly Banana, thrown by Brynn.

      "Heh," she whispered, smirking at the Kougra's nerve.

      Then Brynn was over her again, pummelling her with a pair of Pyramid Bananas. Hannah raised her trembling hands, gasping for breath.

      "It was a good show," said the Kougra, finally relenting. "A clever choice of weapon, too. You did well. I'll be taking this for now." She reached for the artefact.

      "There's one thing you need to know about bananas, Brynn," said Hannah from the ground. "Always keep one in store."

      She crushed her Sand Banana and threw it in Brynn's eyes. The Kougra yelped in surprise, clawing at her eyes. Hannah kicked her aside, grabbed the artefact and ran triumphantly out of the cave.

      "I'll see you for lasagna night!" Her voice echoed as she left.

      Brynn was left to rinse out her eyes with her water bottle. Disgruntled and dishevelled, she tidied up her belongings, preparing to journey home empty-handed.

      Halfway across the bridge, her foot bumped into something caught between rocks. She peered down at it and grinned broadly.

      Outside in the sunlight, Hannah had stopped on the cliffside, her proud smile wiped off her face even as she still held the artefact. She was glaring at the steep precipice that they had climbed to get to the cavern.

      "Hey, Hannah! You forgot this again."

      Hannah turned slowly to face Brynn, who was holding Hannah's rope. The Usul nodded sheepishly.

      "The rope for the artefact?" Brynn proposed.

      Hannah sighed and pulled out her bananas again.

     The End.