Spilled Ink - Happy 1000th issue!

Her communicator buzzed, vibrating against the dashboard. She picked it up, double-checking that her ship's autopilot was running properly, before devoting her attention to the voice on the other end.

“Hello? Ylana? SlothCo. has an assignment for you, if you’re interested. A... delivery, you could call it?"

Ylana paced as she answered, metal clanking against metal as her boots met the floor of her small ship.

“I’ll do it if the price is right, but you do realize I’m a mercenary, not a courier, right? Isn’t there someone else to handle that kind of work?”

“I was trying to be subtle and explain when you got there, but fine. Have you gone to the proper means to make sure your communicator can’t be tapped?"

“I wouldn’t have made it this far if I hadn’t. More concerned about your side. But now you’ve got my attention.”

“SlothCo. has cutting-edge security, I guarantee you don’t need to worry. Anyways, the 1000th issue of the Neopian Times is nearly out. Everyone's buzzing about it. And we have a plan to take advantage of it. It's experimental, but we believe we’ve developed a Transmogrification potion that can take effect through skin contact, not direct consumption! If we can add it into their ink...”

“Everyone who reads it will touch the pages, and turn into mutants. And you want me to sneak in there and do the job? I wasn’t planning on reading it, anyway. It's still not my usual line of work, but I'm interested. What's the pay looking like?"

“Let's see... 5 million Neopoints sound like a fair trade?”

“Fair enough for what it is. I’m in.”

“Good. Meet us at the E-Z Industries office on Kreludor, we’ll have the supplies you need there."

Ylana set her autopilot for Kreludor. It didn't take long to arrive, her ship landing outside of its more populous regions. Pressing a couple of buttons on her communicator, she double-checked the location of the building. Though given Sloth's other architectural decisions on Kreludor consisted of a mine in the shape of his head, she figured she couldn't miss it.

She threw on her excuse for a disguise, a large cloak which wrapped around her, conveniently covering all her distinctive armour. Most Neopets besides Grundos in Kreludor are tourists, and so she tried to carry herself with that same energy, stepping into the city awed at the sight of the orange and purple architecture that she knew all too well. From the outside, she simply looked like any Acara tourist fresh from Altador or Brightvale or somewhere of that nature.

A tourist who knew a few too many shortcuts, but even if she wasn’t easy to identify, she felt uncomfortable accidentally making eye contact with any passersby. She darted through a couple of alleys and side streets, before she made it to the office E-Z Industries. Division of SlothCo., which itself was a subsidiary of Virtupets Inc. It was much more subtle than expected, looking much like any other office building on Kreludor. The office of a toy company was a weird place to handle business like this. But she had to admit, it was probably much easier to run shady operations without running into trouble if you didn't have ‘Sloth' written on the front of your building. The look of innocence persisted as she entered the front office. They managed to balance sleek corporateness with a dash of whimsy, the overwhelming orange of the outside world giving way to white and splashes of rainbow. A large, colourful rug sat in front of the front desk. Its thick fluff was flattened by Ylana’s armoured boots, leaving a trail of footprints forward.

The Grundo at the front desk smiled and greeted her.

“Hello, welcome to E-Z Industries, how may I help you?”

Ylana pulled down her cloak hood.

“I’m here for the... delivery.”

“Oh! Yes. We’ve been expecting you.” The Grundo turned and said something. “Mekdj, she’s here!” The ‘Staff Only' door behind her swung open, revealing a Yellow Bori with a bright smile. She was dressed in vibrant pinks, blues, and yellows, from head to toe.

“Yes, right this way. Just follow me!"

Ylana suppressed a laugh as she heard that voice and realized this was the one calling her earlier. Still, she followed, going down winding hallway after winding hallway. Ylana wasn't one for small talk, but the longer this maze of identical offices and meeting rooms continued, the more a question burned in her mind.

“You don't strike me as the type to work at... a place like this." It was the only way Ylana could think of to phrase the question politely. What she really wanted to say, How come someone working for Sloth dresses like what a child would think someone working for a toy company would look like? sounded like it'd lose her this job.

“Takes all types of Neopet to keep a place like this going. I used to work for Krelufun Industries, back in the day. They needed someone here to keep things going in Sloth's absence, so I became that someone. We’re just trying to make sure he comes back to something he'd like to see.”

“Still have faith he's coming back? I lost that around the moment his ship blew up."

“Unless the Space Faerie lost that token between the couch cushions, there has to be a way to get him back, right?” Mekdj gave a shrug. “Oh, here we are!” She stopped at what seemed like a door like any other door, fumbling with a key ring with what had to be a dozen near-identical keys. She eventually held the right one in her claws. The door unlocked, swinging open into a dark row of stairs.

Mekdj skipped down them like they were nothing, but Ylana had to take a second to adjust. Each step was more than wide enough, almost enough to take two steps, but they dropped off an uncomfortable height. The kind of staircase built for Doctor Sloth or maybe a Mutant Grundo, not an average Neopet. The railing was too high to be of much help, either. Eventually, thankfully, it evened out into a smooth vinyl floor, reflecting the glow of several vials, beakers, and test tubes. If it was made of glass and could contain a dangerous glowing chemical, there was one of them in here. Mekdj sorted through a desk of finished concoctions, pulling out a plain black bottle.

“Are you sure this’d be enough? It's not much bigger than a normal Transmogrification potion."

“More than sure. We've made sure it's extra potent so that it'll take effect even mixed in with that much ink. Even a drop is enough to turn anyone Mutant." She nearly dropped it before handing it over, chuckling a bit. “Whatever you do, make sure it's not what I just did. Though we will supply a Blue Paint Brush to reverse the damage in case of accidental contact. Good luck!”

“Rest assured, I don’t need luck. But thank you.”

She put it in one of her belt pockets, folding up her cloak and putting it in another. It would only get in the way from this point forward.

Her teleporter had just enough power to get here and back. That was all she needed. With the press of a button, she disappeared in a flash of light. She reappeared on the roof of Neopia Central’s one and only printing press. The feeling of teleportation itself was one she was long used to, but the sudden shift in gravity was never going to become normal. A Weewoo flew away at her sudden appearance. The sun was just about setting, the last vestiges of that nearby star's light soon to give way to a more familiar night sky.

She looked into the building through the open skylight. A gaggle of various Neopets gathered around, even more, White Weewoo flying about overhead, carrying various things back and forth. No sign of security, which was good. She carefully pried the skylight open enough to hear the goings on below.

“And now, the last stop in the tour, this is where we store all the ink that hasn't been used yet. Right now, that means everything for Issue #1000! I’ll admit, the 'giant inkwell' is probably not the most efficient storage system, but it sure looks neat, doesn't it?”

Sure enough, she saw an open container of ink, high up on a pedestal. The crowd seemed impressed, looking up at it. From here, looking at it, all Ylana saw were those Neopoints. But she knew better than to drop down yet. No, she waited, sitting in a part of the roof not visible from below and occasionally taking glances down below.

Slowly, the touring groups filtered out, the last workers left, and the lights all dimmed. It was as these lights dimmed that she finally went down, landing on top of one of the printing presses. She hopped down from there, working off Kreludor’s light to spot the ladder that led its way to the open top of the inkwell. She climbed up, and was just opening the bottle, when she heard a noise below her.

Wee... woo...

She looked down, seeing a White Weewoo at the bottom of the ladder. The two stared at each other for what had to be a solid minute, neither so much as blinking.

Then came another. And another. They flew up, and just as she was about to pour the bottle in, knocked it from her hands. The bottle was knocked from Weewoo to Weewoo, contents splashing all over the place. Before Ylana knew it, she was being swarmed by a group of angry Mutant Weewoos, just attempting to catch the bottle and at least get a bit of it to reach the ink. It stained her gloves, and she felt a bit drip its way down between the thin cracks of her armour. The bottle crashed to the ground, shattering and spilling its remaining contents on the floor, far from where it was meant to be.

It was all Ylana could do to not fall down. Just about time for a ‘tactical retreat.'

She teleported away, returning to the dark laboratory.

"The mission was a failure. Though they will be in for a different surprise..." She sighed, taking off her now ill-fitting helmet, running her paws along her newfound line of horns. “Now, about that Blue Paint Brush.”

     The End.