The Best Halloween Parties in the Haunted Woods

     With my hard-sought knowledge, I’ve created this master ranking of the top ten Halloween parties in the Haunted Woods. All of them are spooky (it is the Haunted Woods, after all), but some are spookier than others. Some may actually be too spooky for you, and some are barely spooky unless you consider terrible refreshments to be frightening. Whatever you’re looking for, with this guide, you’ll know exactly which parties to hit and which to skip after collecting candy on Halloween.

     10. The Brain Tree’s party

     All the Brain Tree’s party guests get a chance to swing from his branches (but not, sadly, to jump on his giant, bouncy-looking brain). However! This party goes about as well as you’d expect.

     The refreshments are water and dirt, perfect for trees but terrible for literally anyone else. And every year, the Brain Tree forgets the plates, or the streamers, or the DJ. As you’d expect, he always sends guests to the Esophagor to get those things, because that’s what the Brain Tree’s all about. If he forgets one thing and you have to leave the party to visit the Esophagor, that’s fine, usually. But if he’s missing more than one thing … it gets old.

     9. The Esophagor’s party

     The Esophagor has moves! There’s music for his guests to dance to all night long, and most of them do, because there are no chairs to sit on. But there is food—lots of it. Some of it’s pretty good, like Cinnamon Neocola, Coco Pumpkin, and Gummy Korbat Tails. But I’ve also seen Esophagor Bowl of Slimy Stew, Burnt Jelly, and Old Rotten Left Boot in the buffet. Gross.

     8. Eliv Thade’s party

     There are no snacks and no dancing at Eliv Thade’s Halloween party, but there are lots and lots of games, including an excellent escape room that grows more elaborate each year. And the atmosphere is *chef’s kiss*. Haunted castles were made for Halloween parties!

     Just be warned: the host is constantly trying to get guests to read The Grimoire of Thade. The best way to handle the pressure is to just keep saying, “What? I can’t hear you!” over the melancholy organ music in the background.

     7. Alabaster Chesterdrawers’ party

     During his annual party, Alabaster Chesterdrawers displays a selection of haunted furniture and cursed artefacts in his antique shop, then tells spine-chilling stories about each of them. They’re not true stories, though … I’m pretty sure.

     6. Ssidney’s party

     You’ll have a great time partying with Ssidney (as long as you don’t trust him as far as you can throw him). He takes his guests around the Deserted Fairground, treating them to games of Coconut Shy, Bagatelle, and Test Your Strength. All attendees even get a snack of their choice from Spooky Foods (I’m partial to the Tombscones).

     However, at the end of the night, if you haven’t shown your gratitude to Ssidney by buying a few scratchcards, he’ll present you with a hefty bill for your portion of the party.

     5. Edna’s party

     Edna’s Halloween parties are usually potluck potion parties. That means everyone brings an ingredient, and then you all throw them into Edna’s cauldron. If you’re lucky, you end up with a delicious concoction. But if you aren’t lucky … you might pay a visit to the Neopian Hospital before morning.

     4. Almost Abandoned Attic party

     I’m pretty sure I went to a party here. I mean, I’m not even sure this is a real place (rumours remain unfounded). But late one Halloween, I wound up in the attic of an unassuming building and was greeted by a friendly ghost with a tray of Jelly Biscuits and some kind of … rummage sale? I left with hazy memories and plenty of stuff I didn’t need, but the biscuits were excellent.

     3. The Wanderers’ party

     If you should be so lucky to be invited to the Wanderer Camp on Halloween, you’re in for a treat. (Literally—the make-your-own s’mores bar is legendary.) The live music is fantastic, and who doesn’t want their fortune told by a real-life wanderer?

     But don’t forget this important tip: the cauldron on the fire isn’t for bobbing for apples. It’s for making stew. You don’t want to put your head in it (unless you’d like to donate your head as an ingredient for said stew).

     2. Forgotten Graveyard party

     Don’t knock partying with the graveyard cultists till you’ve tried it. Yes, they’re eccentric. Yes, they give off some freaky vibes. Yes, they pretty much kidnap their party guests and force them to wear robes and take a vow of obedience. But! They have great party favours. Well, sometimes. Once I left with a cute little Draphly! Then the next time, they gave me a Gelatinous Bouillon Non-Cube.

     1. The Crumpetmonger’s party

     The Crumpetmonger’s party is the best party in all the Haunted Woods, and it’s not just because of her charming provincial accent. No, it’s due to the mounds and mounds of luscious pastries!

     Before Halloween’s over, you can enjoy Chocolate Tart, Apricot Tart, Pear Tart, Vanilla Bean Scone, Cinnamon Spice Scone, Rosemary Bacon Scone, Fish Pie, Veggie Stew Pie, Raisin Custard Pie, Honey Crumpet, Chestnut Pudding, and Cinnamon and Thyme Quiche. And that’s just the appetizers.

     The only downside is that you’ll be so hooked on pastries, you’ll inevitably spend all your Neopoints on them until you can get your fill at the next Halloween party. But that’s a (metaphorically) small price to pay, if you ask me.

     And there you have it: the top Halloween parties in the Haunted Woods. Hopefully at least one tickles your fancy. But if you simply can’t decide, come to the woods late on Halloween and wander around. You can join me there, trying to find my way back to that party with the Jelly Biscuits.