A Chia dressed in a full clown outfit was dancing and prancing and exclaiming in front of a massive red, white, and yellow circus tent that had been set up on the outskirts of Neopia Central. Cheerful carnival music was coming from inside of it and the smell of popcorn and roasted peanuts filled the air.

"Come one, come all!" the Chia clown said. "Experience a show you'll never forget! We've got everything from Noil tamers to Bearogs balancing on unicycles! Don't forget our star attraction of the magical Twilight Brothers and their Biyako pack!"

The Chia clown danced some more in front of the crowd that had been growing, tossing out pamphlets and fliers to everyone nearby. A few of the Neopets gathered seemed quite interested in the show, while a few others simply tossed the paper to the side and went about their business.

"Fun for all ages!" the clown continued. "Come now, everyone, and see the show! See the power of Aziz, the strongest Lupe in Neopia, as he attempts to break all sorts of feats of strength! Tickets only 200 Neopoints each!"

Wallace had been listening to the clown give his spiel for the last few minutes. He had looked over the flyer that he had tossed out that was explaining the many events this circus was laying claim to. It had sounded interesting, but hearing that tickets were going to be that cheap had sold him.

"Sure!" the Lutari said to the clown. "I'll take a ticket!"

"Step right in and enjoy the show, then!" the clown replied and motioned toward the tent flap for him to enter...

A trio of Usuls waltzed past him, their tails bopping and their hips swaying as they swaggered through the crowds.

They must be a dance act, Wallace thought to himself.

"Howdy do!" a jolly Techo dressed as a clown exclaimed. His red nose was so bright that it almost dazzled the Lutari. He wore an oversized clown suit that shone vividly in a mixture of bright colours and a purple hat with a daisy on top that spun 'round. "I'm a clown!"

"Um... really?" Wallace replied, unamused. "I hadn't guessed."

Seemingly oblivious to Wallace's sarcastic remark, the Techo clown continued on.

"But of course, you know that already! Hey, wanna shake my hand?"

In hindsight, Wallace should have realized sooner what was going to happen, but it was only when his arm was in mid electric shock that he understood; he'd just fallen for the clown's most popular practical joke.

"Ha! Gets 'em every time!" the Techo laughed as he bounded past the Lutari with his ginormous shoes flopping loudly against the ground.

A young Mynci whizzed past Wallace as he was massaging his tingling paw, almost knocking him off his feet.

"The first act's about to start!" he exclaimed wildly. "You'd better get a seat before it's too late! You don't wanna miss it! It's gonna be AWESOME!"

"What act?" Wallace asked curiously, but the Mynci had disappeared into the crowds of Neopets that were slowly edging their way forward. He guessed that he'd follow and see what all the fuss was about...

A thousand blinking eyes illuminated the arena; every breath was held in anticipation as the stage started to spew a grimy, translucent fog. A flash of lavender light cut through the fog and then another amber wave cascaded through the stage.

Wallace sat there dumbfounded on the edge of his seat. Never before had he experienced this suspenseful state of calmness -- a calmness that smelled weirdly of bacon. He turned to survey the crowd and take it in while, also, trying to locate where this bacon smell was coming from. At that very moment a loud boom exploded from the center of the stage.

Emerging from the floor of the stage, suspended from thin wires that were barely visible, was the largest Plumpy in all of Neopia.

As if a switch had been turned on, the entire crowd erupted with cheers and hollers. It was like a volcano exploding with adoration and praise. Wallace rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

"Hey! What are you doing here without any bacon?!?" the Draik sitting next to him yelled. Wallace looked down at the Draik's hands and noticed a large pail of what looked like a hundred pieces of perfectly crisp bacon saturated in grease. The Draik picked up a handful of bacon from his pail and slapped it into Wallace's hands. "You can't be in Plumpy's presence without offering him bacon... c'mon, everyone knows that!"

What have I gotten myself into? Wallace wondered as he looked down at his handful of bacon...

The crowd cheered wildly, shaking the bacon in their fists. Wallace joined in a little half-heartedly, looking around at everyone in a state of disbelief.

"And now," the voice boomed, "the Mystical Plumpy shall choose one lucky visitor and answer his or her most burning yes or no question!"

The Plumpy burped loudly, and the crowd cheered even louder.

"Hold out your hands!" the announcer commanded, and everyone did so. Wallace held out his hand, staring at the large Petpet.

Suddenly, the wires that held the Plumpy began to move, swinging the Plumpy in all directions. The audience oohed and aahed as the white Petpet ebbed and flowed with the wires. Its large mass undulated as it spun, a mesmerizing dance. Wallace watched in strange fascination until, with one final swing, the Plumpy was suddenly in front of him. It opened its wide mouth and ate the bacon in his hand with one bite.

"The Mystical Plumpy has chosen!" the announcer cried, and the audience cheered. "Come on down, young Lutari!"

"You're so lucky," the Draik next to Wallace said, patting his back forcefully and pushing Wallace forward.

"Gah," was all Wallace could say, staring at the Plumpy as he made his way to the center of the arena. The Plumpy stared down at him, its face in a deep set frown. He towered over the Lutari, making him feel insignificant.

"So then, young Lutari," the announcer shouted. "What is your yes or no question?"

Wallace was in such a state of shock, with the lights and shouts and the giant Plumpy hanging before him, that -- without thinking -- he blurted out the first question that popped into his head...

The Plumpy's round eyes bored into Wallace's. There was no light in that dark gaze, no sign that the Petpet had understood. It opened its mouth with a pop and, despite himself, Wallace half-believed that words would follow. Instead, a fog came swirling out as it heaved a great burp, to the audience's renewed cheers. Much like before, this haze had a strange, gritty quality to it when inhaled. However, where the first fog had been largely transparent, the inky tendrils that reached to Wallace were almost corporeal in their heaviness.

Wallace started to tingle all over as the fumes closed in. Whether it was due to their all-consuming thickness or the persistent smell of bacon, he wasn't sure. The Lutari had the incoherent thought that he was being enclosed by water -- the substance was fluid-like in a way that fog simply shouldn't be. All sound -- and reason -- dissipated as he drowned. His lips parted, but if he screamed he couldn't hear it. He was too busy suffocating.

When the fog cleared, Wallace could only blink and gasp. The swell of noise that met his stunned ears served only to stun him further. He turned to the announcer mechanically as the Scorchio clapped a meaty paw on his shoulder. "That would be a yes!" the Neopet cried out, stepping away and gesticulating toward Wallace with a flourish.

"What?" Wallace's voice seemed to come to him from someplace distant. He looked from the announcer to the Plumpy. The gigantic Petpet's expression was, somehow, grumpier than before but told him nothing. Wallace was about to shift his glance to the audience when he caught sight of something in his periphery. Orange was reflected in the Plumpy's large black eyes. He could feel himself frowning as he squinted. The colour seemed to be coming... from the top of his head?

With a pang of horror, Wallace looked down at himself to find that...

The crowd was cheering wildly and he suspected that they thought this was all a part of the act. He opened his mouth to cry out -- to beg for help, but he couldn't seem to find his voice. A single frustrated tear tracked down his face, but the paint didn't so much as smudge.

Without warning, two clowns appeared. One he recognized as the Techo he had seen before, but the other was a Gelert that was a stranger to him. They were smiling and laughing as they guided him out of the large tent. He didn't have time to argue or resist as they led him to a small, grey tent that he hadn't noticed before.

There was no light in this smaller tent, and he couldn't see anything when he first had been shoved aside. As his eyes adjusted, however, he realized that he wasn't alone...

"This will be your new workstation," the Gelert clown told him. The Techo was silent, but gave him a look that was... almost sad?

"What? Workstation?" Away from the hungry eyes of the crowd, he found that his voice came easily again. He was dressed like a clown, surely, but that didn't make him one. He was just an average circusgoer that happened to get the lucky pick! He was starting to feel distinctly unlucky, though. It had been a great trick, with the smoke and fog and sudden clown attire, but he was starting to get frightened. "Do you mean that you want me to be part of an act?"

"Oh, you'll be part of a few. We all have our parts to play."

Before he could ask the Gelert to clarify, the tent flap opened again and the Scorchio announcer from earlier clambered inside. He gave the Lutari a once-over and an approving nod.

"Is our newest employee acclimating well?" he asked, and the Gelert nodded.

"Employee?" he yelped.

"You're coming up in half an hour," the Scorchio informed him matter-of-factly. "Juggling. They're really looking forward to your flaming baton toss."

"What?" he yelped. "Flaming batons?"

"In thirty minutes," the Scorchio confirmed. "Don't worry. You’ll do well."

"There must be some mistake," Wallace muttered, tugging at his orange afro in the vain hope that it was just a very realistic wig. It was not, and he bit back a yelp of pain. "I don't even know how to juggle!"

"Oh, I think you do... catch." The announcer tossed a ball to him and he caught it reflexively. Another, and he had to let go of the one he was holding in order to grab it. He didn't intend to toss it up in the air like that -- it just happened. Then he was doing it again, however, throwing one and catching the other in a quick and easy rhythm that grew faster and faster. The motion looked seamless and practiced, but Wallace thought rather wildly that it felt like a train rushing off its tracks.

"Good, good. I'm looking forward to your debut." The tent flap swung closed behind the Scorchio, leaving the Lutari to stare dumbfounded after him, still juggling.

It took much more effort than it should have for him to force his hands to still, and the balls dropped to the floor with a clatter.

"There must be some mistake," he repeated numbly. A few of the clowns looked at him and there was something approaching pity in their eyes, but most of them ignored him. "I don’t work here. There's no contract. I don't -- I'm not a clown. I want to go home."

A hand clasped his shoulder gently.

"You don't understand. When Plumpy chooses you, he chooses you." The Techo smiled, but it seemed to Wallace like there was something behind it now -- something sad, or crazed, or desperate. "You don't get to leave..."

Momentarily distracted from his situation, Wallace shook his head. "I don't know how to unicycle."

The Gelert exchanged a smirk with the Techo who said, "Every clown knows how to unicycle."

Wallace situated himself upon the one-wheeled bike, more to prove his point than anything, but his feet seemed to be acting on their own accord. They latched onto the pedals and propelled the wary Lutari forward in a surprisingly steady manner. Wallace made an entire loop around the tent, arms out to balance himself like a trapeze artist.

"Try it with some of these," the Techo cried, tossing several balls toward Wallace, who caught them. Just like before, his hands exchanged them effortlessly as he juggled and cycled around the tent.

Several clown bystanders nodded in approval and even gave Wallace a few claps.

A small part of Wallace wanted to stop the shenanigans, but then he couldn't think of anything else he was supposed to be doing, so he continued to wheel around in circles until the Techo raised his hands.

"Alright, save some for the show. You'll crack them up."

"You really think so?" Wallace asked, unsure why the question bothered him. "You think they'll like me?"

"Of course," the Gelert said. "Who doesn't like a clown? You're up next."

Wallace couldn't help but smile. He felt like he might be forgetting something, but he couldn't quite remember what it was, so he pushed it to the back of his mind. He needed to focus on the upcoming performance.

He was just about to walk onstage when a smell caught his attention. It was unlike the sugary aroma of sweets and stale scent of forgotten popcorn. It smelled awfully like bacon. For some reason, Wallace felt a strong desire to follow the smell...

What he saw was an old and withered clown with the same neon orange wig as himself sitting in the corner. Dropping the balls into one of his oversized pockets, Wallace jogged over to the clown and knelt down so that they were face to face.

"Sir, are you alright? What happened?" he questioned nervously, trying to look in the Draik's eyes. A moment passed before the Draik spoke. His voice was dry and hoarse, as if he was speaking for the first time in a while.

"So you're the one who's replaced me, eh?" He released a short huff, which Wallace assumed was a laugh.

"Replaced?" he asked, confused. The Draik nodded slowly.

"Yes, replaced. When the Mystical Plumpy chooses another clown, another..." he cut off, suddenly glancing in the direction of the stage, "gets to leave." He drew in a shaky breath before attempting to stand. Wallace instantly jumped up and helped him.

"Sir! What can I do to help you?" The Lutari's question was sharp, although he wasn't trying to sound harsh. He was just worried by the realization that he would have to be a clown until he was old and grey like the Draik. The elder of the two stared into Wallace's eyes, his glare sunken and frosty.

"You can do nothing for me," he spoke, leaning on Wallace for support. "You can, however, do something for yourself." He stressed the yourself, pointing toward the Lutari as he did so.

"What can I do... you know, to save myself?" he asked, propping the Draik up by his shoulder. Some of the cold left the elder's eyes as he heard this response, and his wrinkled frown straightened into something like a smile.

"It's only been done once," he said, pausing to reach into his pocket, "but the Mystic Plumpy has been fooled before, and I think you can do it again..."

"You need to convince the Plumpy that the correct answer to your question was no."

Wallace looked confused.

"You see," the Draik explained, "when you were asked to come up with a yes or no question, you were, in fact, being asked to sign on to a magical contract. If you thought of a yes question, then you would have had the word 'yes' floating inside your mind. The magic grabs onto that word and turns it into an expression of consent, without you knowing. So, you were effectively saying yes to a lifetime of clownhood. If the answer to your question had been no, then you would have walked free."

"That's ridiculous! I thought it was just a show!"

The old clown nodded gravely. "As we all did, young one. As we all did. It's very devious magic."

"So, to reverse it," the Lutari said, "all I have to do is convince the Plumpy that the correct answer to my question was no?"

"Exactly."

"If it's that simple, though, then why haven't you freed yourself?"

The Draik's eyes became misty with remembrance. "Unfortunately, the question I asked was 'Is Neopia round?' and the answer to that is undoubtedly yes. I've beaten myself up so often over these past decades, wishing I'd asked a different question... but you, young one, you have a chance."

"How do you know?"

"We were all backstage listening when you voiced your question. I'll admit, I was listening for selfish reasons. As the oldest clown in the group, I knew that I would be free if you voiced a yes question. However, the question you voiced -- well, it's not a guaranteed yes question."

Wallace thought back to his fateful words. "I asked, 'Are you really a mystical Plumpy?'"

The Draik's eyes crinkled again. "You have a chance. The one who escaped before, his question was 'Is this a real circus?' He managed to get away with the interpretation that no, it was not a real circus -- it's a fraudulent circus."

Wallace nodded. "I see."

The smell of bacon grew stronger. An expression of serenity crossed the Draik's face. "Goodbye, young one, and good luck. My freedom beckons."

"No, wait!" Panic beat in Wallace's chest. "How do I get back to the Mystical Plumpy? How do I-- please, help me!"

However, the Draik had already vanished.

The young Lutari whirled and looked all around himself, but there was no one and nothing to be found.

Wallace felt ready to cry.

There came a tap on his shoulder. "What are you doing back here?" the Scorchio announcer asked sharply. "It's almost showtime."

"You can go ahead and put those in that box," the seasoned Gelert clown said, pointing toward to the oversized pocket containing the balls that Wallace had been juggling earlier. "You'll be juggling flaming batons onstage."

"Join your brothers," said the Techo clown, who had also appeared.

"We're not brothers!" Wallace protested.

"We shook hands," the Techo said.

Wallace felt as though he were walking in a dream. He followed the Gelert and the Techo to a scraggly line of clowns, who were all getting ready to go onstage.

Somewhere beyond the pounding in his ears, he could hear the Scorchio announcer booming, "Ladies and gentlemen! The ultimate final act!"

He then felt the light come on. Warm, bright light. He looked down and blinked. Somehow, he was now riding a unicycle. There were flaming batons in his hands, and he was tossing them, effortlessly, just like all the other clowns parading around onstage.

Whump-whump-whump went the hot, flaming batons up and down in his hands. Shiny, so shiny. Whump-whump-whump.

No! no! his inner voice cried. I am not a clown! This is not a real circus.

"Oh but sure it is." Whump-whump-whump. "Don't you hear the cheering and the applause? Don't you feel the unicycle beneath your feet? You're performing, young clown, and the audience loves you."

I did not say yes to any of this.

"Certainly you did." Whump-whump-whump. "When you voiced your yes question."

It was not a yes question! Wallace struggled to keep his thought-stream intact, free from this strange, intruding force that was robbing him of himself. He had already lost control of his body. Whump-whump-whump. He would not lose control of his mind. The Mystical Plumpy has no power over me, he thought fiercely. I did not say yes to any of this. The Mystical Plumpy has no power over me.

Whump-whump-whump. That noise was getting on his nerves. He screamed to make himself heard.

"THE MYSTICAL PLUMPY IS NOT A MYSTICAL PLUMPY!"

Gasps burst forth from the audience.

Suddenly, it seemed as though Wallace's ears had popped. He fell off of his unicycle. "The Mystical Plumpy is not a Mystical Plumpy!" he cried, over and over. "The Mystical Plumpy has no power over me!"

The rhythm was broken. The rods fell with a clatter to the stage, where -- oddly -- they did not catch fire. They turned into ordinary wooden rods.

More gasps came from the audience.

Wallace struggled to get back onto his feet, and then he reached for the Scorchio's microphone. Stunned, the Scorchio handed it to him.

"Don't you see?" Wallace shouted. "This is not real entertainment. These aren't real clowns. You've all been fooled!"

--ooled! --ooled!

One by one, each clown seemed to wake from a trance. They, too, fell off their unicycles. They, too, dropped their batons. Their gazes fell on Wallace and their eyes filled with gratitude.

The audience was displeased.

"That was no fun to watch!" a large Chomby complained. "I want my money back!"

"Me, too!"

"And me!"

"Now, just hold on a minute," said the Scorchio announcer, who was flailing for the mic but it was too late. They were all upon him.

Wallace walked out of the tent and felt the cool breeze in his face. He then caught sight of the old Draik sitting under a nearby tree, happily sipping a smoothie.

The Draik smiled at him. "Well done."

The End