Rohn pushed his Biscuit Brigade lunch box deeper into his locker and tried to laugh, though the others' pitying smiles made it harder, somehow. Most of the coolest Neopets at the academy weren't as mean as that Jetsam, even to Grundos like him. Still, if he had managed to sneak into the magma pool even once, or been born woodland, he'd probably have made friends at this place by now.

Instead he looked like a big, bland biscuit, the sort that sat at the bottom of the tin for weeks until it started to pick up funny smells. The lunch box certainly didn't help. Gohn's stomach gurgled at the thought of his hidden lunch.

Guess I'll have to eat at the cafeteria again.

All the real food except for fruit and tangy twirly fruit soup was sold out by the time the Grundo slinked into the busy cafeteria. Hot fruit soup on a hot summer day! As Gohn groaned inwardly, his stomach groaned audibly. He took the inevitable soup and carried it to an out-of-the-way spot. Only one other student, face buried in a book, sat nearby.

As he stared down through the steam, into the swirling, twirling surface of the soup, Gohn suddenly and uncomfortably...

"Hey there, are you okay?" the nearby student asked, taking notice of the noise Rohn was making.

Rohn was unable to respond through his coughing and gagging. After several seconds, the Grundo regained enough sense to push the twirly fruit soup away, pushing the steam along with it. When it was farther away, Gohn continued to cough for a few more seconds to settle himself.

"I'm fine, I guess," he groaned. He cleared his throat. "I don't know what's in that."

"Well, nobody ever gets the twirly fruit soup here," the Neopet informed. "I can't say I've seen that happen before, though."

"Maybe I'm allergic to it?" Rohn shrugged off the question. He looked at the Neopet who he was talking to. The Neopet was a purple Acara who was still looking at the soup with curiosity and concern. "My name is Rohn. Do you have a name?"

"Oh, how rude of me. I'm sorry. I was just more concerned about what was happening." The Acara turned to Rohn. "I'm Murray and- aaahhhh," the moment Murray made eye contact, he lost track of what he was going to say, "you're turning green."

"I wouldn't be surprised if I look a little ill after that fit-"

"No. No. I actually mean physically turning green."

Gohn was at a loss for words at what Murray was saying. He lifted up a hand to hold to his forehead to see if it was feeling warm, as he was still a little uneasy, but stopped when he saw his hand. His light brown hand slowly began to turn green right before his eyes. Rohn looked back up at Murray. He appeared just as shocked as him.

Out of curiosity, Rohn opened up his lunchbox. He held up the lid and looked at it. Looking at the reflective metal, he could see that his face was no longer the biscuit-y looking color he had known it to be. Instead, his face and antennae were a dark green color.

"What just happened?!" Murray asked in disbelief. His eyes turned back to the steaming bowl a foot in front of them.

"Did the soup really do that?" Rohn asked.

"I guess? I didn't think soup could do that, though!" Murray turned back to Rohn. "And now you're green! What are you going to do?"...

That was when he noticed it wasn't just him. Around him, the entire cafeteria was frozen. Were they just not moving? But no, someone had milk dribbling down their chin, mid-dribble and yet statuesque. How odd.

The wall suddenly slid open directly before him. Alarmed and completely helpless he could only stare as two very large, very serious mutant grundos stepped through the once innocuous wall.

“There’s no time to explain,” Murray said.

Rohn wanted to know why Murray could move when the rest of them could not, but he couldn’t ask.

Oblivious to Rohn’s inner turmoil, Murray rushed on. “I told you no one gets the soup,” he muttered, rummaging in a front pocket—out of sight of the grundos. “No one ever gets the soup. But enough of that. This academy is not what it seems. Outwardly, yes, school, but…behind these walls—and I mean, literally, the walls, can you believe it?—there’s something nefarious going on. I’ve been here for two years, and I’m so close to knowing…!”

His excitement had been growing throughout his monologue, but he visibly calmed, just as the grundos made their way around the tables, headed straight for Rohn.

Murray found what he was looking for, but without being able to move his head, Rohn wasn’t sure what it was. “You’re going to their world, now,” Murray explained. “Look at this when you get there. Only once you get there. You’ll know what to do then.” He stuffed whatever he’d found into one of Rohn’s pockets and gave it a swift pat. “We’ll see each other soon. I promise.” And then in a performance that would have impressed any theater instructor, Murray’s face solidified into a half-smile, caught in the moment by this strange spell.

Rohn had more questions than answers, but even if he could speak, there wasn’t near enough time. The grundos were nearly upon him…

A spaceship awaited, parked at a weird angle. It had landed on top of a bench. Rohn remembered he'd sat on that bench only yesterday! Somehow, that made him angry, and anger gave him strength.

He wiggled his ears. There! That would show his kidnappers exactly what he thought of them.

Space travel wasn't fun. Huddled into a corner, a metal wall cool against his grass-green skin, Rohn fought nausea and endured the worst case of pins and needles in the history of Neopia as the spell wore off.

His captors piloted the small ship, their backs to him, conversing in whispers.

He caught a few words here and there, and they only added to his bewilderment rather than serving to enlighten him.

"...met our quota now. Think we'll get a bonus? Or vacation time? I could sure use one! Herding Kadoaties is more fun than this cruddy assignment."

Able to speak at last, Rohn yelled over to them, "Hey! Take me back! Or I'll-"

One captor turned slowly, his eyes devoid of any expression and said, "Or you'll what?"

"I'll-"

It became all too clear what he'd do. The ship lurched, and the soup left Rohn in a messy gush.

Gross. And he was STILL green!

"Wipe yourself off, kid." There was a note of amusement in his voice.

By the time he wiped away as much of the mess as he could, the Grundos were standing over him - one holding a blindfold, the other a pair of handcuffs.

Although Rohn had regained most of his strength, he realized that resisting was a bad move. These guys were huge. They were mutant Grundos that made him look like a jelly bean by comparison.

A *green* jelly bean.

Blinded and restrained, Rohn was then ushered out of the ship. The clanging of their footsteps echoed throughout the twisted corridors until he heard the whirring of what sounded like metal doors sliding open and then close behind them. He was pushed roughly onto a cold, hard chair. Rohn suddenly became aware of something in his pocket. He remembered the item Murray had given him. But how could he reach it now?

A sharp sigh interrupted Rohn's thoughts. "Is all of that really necessary?" a voice thundered in front of him. "A blindfold and handcuffs? Were you afraid of being overpowered by a Grundo half your size?"

His captors, standing on either side of him, stammered an apology and undid the blindfold. While one mutant was in the process of removing the handcuffs, Rohn swallowed his fear and lifted his eyes to meet those of the thunderous voice. And there, he saw sitting on a silvery throne, the eyes of...

"Help this young lad up, you fools. We have a lot of work to do!" called Sloth, spinning on heel and cupping his chin between his thumb and index finger, pensive and impatient.

"No," Rohn managed to cry out, "That won't be necessary. I was just... a little thrown off guard," he stammered. He turned on his left hip and placed his hands on the cold steel flooring, stabilitizing himself to return to a standing position.

As he pushed upward, he glanced inside his pocket to get a fleeting glimpse of the shiny object Murray had slipped in there. It looked like a palm-sized water gun. He had seen this gun in photos before... or at least images of its prototype. It was none other than one of three Sloth Blasters that (as far as everyone had been told) had never made it to fruition.

Rohn did his best to neutralize his expression and stood to face Dr. Sloth. He needed to know what Sloth wanted with him, why the Grundos were still present if their jobs were only to collect him, and most importantly, what the role of the Blaster was in all this and how Murray had intended for him to use it.

Mustering up as much courage as he could for a young Neopet unaware of his whereabouts, he quietly asked, "So, I was wondering what your plan was for me? You know, so I can complete it as quickly as possible and get out of your hair... return home."

Sloth tossed his head back with a hearty laugh. "Return home?" He narrowed his eyes and bore his pupils into Rohn's with laser precision, before adding, "You're already at your final destination!"

Rohn realized he didn't care what Dr. Sloth wanted. Sloth was evil, every Neopet knew that. The important thing was to get out of here. Rohn placed his hands on his hips and slowly slid the right one inside his pocket. He grasped the Blaster and felt for the trigger. In as swift a motion as an awkward and terrified Grundo could manage, he pulled it out and...

Rohn felt himself staggering backwards from the recoil. He was momentarily blinded by the light from the Blaster. Unfortunately, it seemed to have no effect on Dr. Sloth or his faithful minions. Sloth's mouth curled into his signature mischievous grin.

“Thought you would play the hero today? Fool!” Sloth turned his back to Rohn, pensive, staring motionlessly out the space ship window. The other Grundos, a little spooked from the blast, circled around him.

“What should we do with the prisoner?”

“What if we tied him up and threw him off the ship?”

“Oh, oh! What if we cut him up and serve him with the twirly fruit soup?” the other suggested, excitedly.

“Yes! And then we can-“

“SILENCE. Both of you,” yelled Sloth. “You’re making it difficult to think.”

Rohn swallowed, his throat dry. His hands were still sweating from the adrenaline rush. He looked at his right hand, still gripping the Blaster so tight that he could see the white of his knuckles.

Sloth slowly turned to Rohn and his minions, who had edged off their brutish leader. He walked towards Rohn, his steps echoing off the metal floor.

“Where did you get this?” Dr. Sloth questioned, his head motioning towards the now smoking Blaster. Their eyes locked, Sloth’s deep red eyes staring intently into Rohn’s.

“It, uh, it was gifted to me. By a friend,” Rohn stammered. Sloth let out a soft chuckle, shaking his head slowly.

“I know you have no friends, so do not lie to me. Where did you obtain this Blaster? Or better yet, from whom?”

Murray, Rohn wanted to say. Right after I ate some cafeteria soup, turned green, a secret wall opened in the middle of the school, and then was captured by two of your assistants here. Rohn was replaying, to the best of his abilities, what had transpired before he was captured. Yes, all of that had indeed occurred, which resulted in Murray giving him the Blaster. Murray had also been immune to the strange spell that seemed to immobilize everyone else in the cafeteria. He had said that Rohn would know what to do when he got there. impulsively, Rohn had decided to fire the weapon. But had that really been the right decision? How was Murray involved in the situation? Should Rohn protect his identity? More questions began to flood his mind when…

"Murray!" Dr. Sloth said. "Where have you been?"

"Uh, sorry I'm late," Murray replied. "I was scouting out our next victims.

"Very good," replied Dr. Sloth with a smile. "Now, take this one to a holding cell will you?"

Rohn gave Murray a sheepish look as Murray led him away.

Once they were away from everyone else Murray turned to Rohn and began to whisper.

"It is not what it looks like," he said softly, "Dr. Sloth thinks I work for him but I am actually working against him to defeat him once and for all. I have a plan, but I need your help."

"Help how?" Rohn replied.

"Well," Murray answered, "It's really dangerous, but I need you to..."

How will this story end?

Rohn did a double take. "Sorry, what?" he replied with a confused expression.

"Summon all your willpower," the Acara started slowly, his voice hardly above a whisper, "to turn back into a biscuit."

The Grundo smiled slowly, confusedly. "And that would help how?"

"Look," Murray continued, almost hissing at him, as they descended a flight of stairs. "That soup was made by Dr. Sloth -- having been tainted from otherwise delicious Soup Faerie soup -- for the purpose of mind control. You became green because you started to think like one of his mutant Grundo minions -- and you'll continue transforming if you don't fight its effects. The effects are also the reason why you missed with the Blaster -- your infected mind MADE you."

Rohn paused to absorb this information. "I'll really end up like those other Sloth minions?"

Murray nodded solemnly. "Reginald and Veroth were Grundo kids at our school, just like you. Kids who just wanted an expensive color, kids who just wanted to fit in... well, now they're mutants 'fitting in' with the Dr. Sloth crew. Totally brainwashed."

That made the Grundo's stomach even more uneasy than the soup did. "And how do I fight it?" Rohn whispered when they were just getting to the brig.

Murray stared into Rohn's eyes. "I don't know," he responded quietly as he threw Rohn in the cell and pretended to lock it. "That's up to you to figure out. I've assisted you all that I can... I've provided that same assistance to a few others, and they've all failed. I hope you can figure out how to succeed." He gave Rohn a quick half-smile and handed him a new, recharged blaster, and a Green Invisihat. "You'll know what to do then."

The Acara walked quickly away. The last thing Rohn heard from him was a distant, "Oh hey Esterhazy," to some unknown passerby down the hall leading out of the jails. "Yes, he's all locked up, let's head back up now!"

Rohn sighed and slumped back against the wall. Sure, he wasn't REALLY locked up and could escape at any time, but what good would that do if he was so subconsciously brain-washed that he would just miss with the Blaster again?

He thought about being biscuit again. He thought hard. Sure, he got teased a lot. Sure, it wasn't the most expensive color. But it was his color. It was HIS color! He was a biscuit, not a mutant. He was the one who played Biscuit Brigade so much as a kid that he decided to become a cookie himself. He won the lunch box in a "Biscuit Pride" contest, for crying out loud!

The Grundo closed his eyes and smiled. He wasn't magma, woodland, or mutant. He was biscuit.

When he opened them, he looked down at himself and saw that yes -- indeed he was a biscuit.

Rohn grinned about his old-found color, and, placing the hat on his head, sneaked out of his cell and back toward Dr. Sloth.

***

Having successfully avoided direct interaction with anyone, Rohn managed to retrace his steps and arrive back at the office of Dr. Sloth. He pulled out the Blaster and--

"Who goes there?" Dr. Sloth scowled, his face flat.

The Blaster wasn't invisible!

The villain again grinned his characteristic grin. "So, the new recruit found an old Invisihat and got out of his cell, eh?" He folded his arms. "Go ahead, launch the weapon. You'll miss again like last time."

But Rohn knew otherwise. Just before he blasted it, he took off his hat -- just to reveal his biscuit color and make Sloth sweat. "Death by biscuit," Rohn one-lined epically.

Frank gasped as the Grundo sported his true color, having realized his plan had been thwarted. "NOOO!" he shouted as he leapt to try and dodge, but Rohn had already pressed the trigger.

***

"Hey, don't you have to be dipped somewhere? It's tea time!" a Jetsam called down the hallway and waved his mutant fins dismissively at Rohn.

Rohn took his Biscuit Brigade lunch box out of his locker. "You know what? I think it is tea time," Rohn called back. "And I would like you to join me -- if you're not scared of a little biscuit." He gave the Jetsam a semi-sarcastic smile.

The Jetsam gawked a bit -- this was not the reaction he was expecting. "Er..." he said dumbly. "I'm not scared!" he defensively replied. "I'll see YOU for lunch!"

The Grundo gave a little chuckle as the Jetsam walked away. He'd probably just end up sitting with Murray for lunch, regardless. That Acara was a true friend who respected him for him.

Rohn didn't need to hide it anymore. Biscuit was his true self.

He smiled and walked to the cafeteria.

THE END